For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
Author: admin
Fishing Aint so Bad
One day a priest decided to go down to the dock near his church. He saw a fisherman loading up his boat there. So the priest watched him for awhile. The fiisherman saw the priest and asked him if he wanted to go fishing with him. The priest had nothing to do so he said ok. They went out all day. They only caught one fish all day and it was the priest who caught it. The fisherman said,”That’s a big sonofabitch!” The priest was like what did you say. Quickly thinking the fisherman said that is the name of the fish. Later when the priest went back to the church he showed it to the bishop and said look at this sonofabitch I caught. The bishop was like watch you mounth. The priest said no that is the name of the fish. The bishop said ok lets go clean it. They cleaned it and took it to the sister to cook it. She said where did you get the fish from. The priest said I caught the sonofabitch and the bishop cleaned the sonofabitch. The nun was stuned but she cooked it. Later that night the pope came over for diner. After diner he asked where they got the fish from. The priest said,”I caught the sonofabitch.” The bishop said,”I cleaned the sonofabitch.” Abd the nun said,”I cooked the sonofabitch.” Just then the pope sat back in his chair losened his belt and said,”I you mother f*ckers aint so bad after all.”
Men Snore Because
Why do men snore?
When they fall asleep, their balls cover their assholes and they vapor lock.
Camel betting
Two guys are on duty at a french foreign legion fort. One says to the other one, “See that camel over there? I’ll bet you I can make him jump 30 feet in the air.
The other guy says “No way”.
The first guy walks around to the back of the camel with two bricks, reaches in between the camel’s legs and crashes the bricks together. The camel jumps 30 feet in the air.
A couple of days later the first guy says to the second guy, “I bet you I can make that camel nod his head yes, then shake his head no.”
The second guy says, “You got me last time, but there’s no way you can make that dumb animal nod his head yes then shake it no.”
The first guy takes the same two bricks, walks around to the front of the camel, holds up the bricks and says, “Remember what I did last time?”. (Camel nods). “Want me to do it again?”
Fred’s Wife
A small group of men were talking and one said “It’s a shame about Fred’s wife dying so suddenly.”
“Yeah” said another. “Did They have any children?”
“No, his wife was ‘unbearable’.”
“That’s not what you mean” said another “I believe she was ‘inconceivable’.”
“No” another man explained, “From what Fred said told me, she was ‘insurmountable’ and ‘inscrutable’!”
Polaroid�s.
Q. What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
A. Polaroid�s.
Six Double Vodkas
A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman “Give me six double
vodkas.”
The barman says “Wow! You must have had one hell of a day.”
“Yes, I’ve just found out my older brother is gay.”
The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks.
When the bartender asked what the problem was
Today the answer came back…
“I’ve just found out that my younger brother is gay too!”
On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double
vodkas.
The bartender said “Jesus! Doesn’t anybody in your family like
women?”
“Yeah, my wife…”
Not a typo
Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are.
The olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe and the biran fguiers it out aynawy
Submitted by Curtis
I would have been
I would have been your dad But the dog beat me up the stairs
11 Blondes On Mount
There were 12 people climbing Mount Everest. 11 were blondes, 1 a brunette. At one point, they had to use a rope. Half way up the rope (about 100 ft. high), the rope started tearing. They decided one person needed to jump off and sacrifice themself in order for them all to survive. The brunette gave a long, heart-warming speech of how she was going to sacrifice herself for the others. Everyone started crying. Once she was through, all the blondes clapped loudly.
What is pink and wrinkly and hangs out grandpa’s…
What is pink and wrinkly and hangs out grandpa’s shorts?
– Grandma.
It’s rining cCats and Dogs!!!
What is the worst weather for rats and mice??
When it is raining cats and dogs