A blonde went to a hair dresser’s one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, “I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off.” The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde’s hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard…”breath in…breath out…breath in…breath out…”!
Author: admin
Oral Sex
The Young Fellow Was about to Be Married and Was Asking His Grandfather about Sex. He Asked How Often You Should Have It. His Grandfather Told Him That When You First Get Married, You Want it All the Time….And Maybe Do it Several Times a Day.
Later On, Sex Tapers off and You Have it Once a Week or So. Then as You Get Older, You Have Sex Maybe Once a Month.
When You Get Really Old, You Are Lucky to Have it Once a Year….Maybe on Your Anniversary.
The Young Fellow Then Asked His Grandfather, “Well How about You and Grandma Now?”
His Grandfather Replied, “Oh, We Just Have Oral Sex Now.”
“What’s Oral Sex?” the Young Fellow Asked.
“Well, ” Grandpa Said, “She Goes to Bed in Her Bedroom, and I Go to Bed in My Bedroom. And She Yell, ‘Fuck You’, and I Holler Back, “Fuck You, Too.’ “
The Fart !!
The Fart !
Shaggy and Britney were walking and one
of them farted Shaggy said It wasnt me!
Britney said whoops i did it again !
By
Karandeep
Lally
Too much fuel
The only time you have too much fuel in a plane is when you’re on fire.
Kids are coming!
An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son Bob in New York and says, �I hate to ruin your day, but your mother and I are divorcing.
Forty-five years of misery is enough! I�m sick of her, and I�m sick of talking about this, so call your sister in Boston and tell her,� and then hangs up.
The son frantically calls his sister, who goes nuts upon hearing the news.
She calls her father and yells, �You are not getting a divorce! Bob and I will be there tomorrow. Until then, don�t do a single thing, do you hear me?�
The father hangs up the phone, turns to his wife, and says, �It worked! The kids are coming for a visit, and they�re paying their own way!�
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
Chapped Lips
An old Wyoming cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail a few feet in front of the sheriff.
“Howdy, Stranger.”
“Howdy, Sheriff.”
The cowboy then moved slowly to the back of the horse, lifted his tail and placed a big kiss where the sun don’t shine. He dropped the horse’s tail, stepped up on the walk and aimed towards the swinging doors of the saloon.
“Hold on there, Mister,” said the Sheriff. “Did I just see what I think I saw?”
“Reckon you did, Sheriff. I got me some awful powerful chapped lips.”
“And does that cure them?” the Sheriff asked.
“Nope, but it keeps me from lickin’ ’em.”
Cow or Tractor
If a farmer was only able to choose between buying a cow or a tractor, what
should he pick. On one hand, he would look funny riding on a cow. On the other
hand, he would look funnier trying to milk a tractor.
Truck Driver Retirement
A truck driver was interveiwed after 40 years of truck driving
and his retirement party. They asked him one question that
really made him think.
“So, sir, after 40 years of being a truck driver, what is one
thing you have learned?”
The man took a deep breath and let it out and he sighed.
Finally, he replied.
“You learn a lot on the road. But what really struck me is one
thing. When you are driving on a routine 10 hour drive, you
realize, down the road somewhere is a truck, the same as yours,
the same size weight, and carrying the same load of
supplies—going the other way.”
What fashion trend do priests follow?…
What fashion trend do priests follow?
Cross dressing.
Youth and skill are no
Youth and skill are no match for experience and treachery.
Ways to confuse a roommate
These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.37. Whenever your roommate walks in, wait one minute and then stand up. Announce that you are going to take a shower. Do so. Keep this up for three weeks.
Van a fusilar a Clinton,
Van a fusilar a Clinton, a Fidel y al Presidente de Tontilandia por ciertos fraudes y lo peor es que los van a fusilar en la mism�sima Tontilandia. Empiezan por Clinton, y cuando ya est� todo a punto, se pone a gritar:
“�Terremoto, un terremoto! �Corran por su vida!”
Total, que todos los del peloton echan a correr y Clinton se escapa. Cuando le toca el turno a Fidel, se pone a gritar:
“�Un hurac�n! �Se acerca un hurac�n! �Todos a cubierto!
Y tambi�n se escapa. Entonces le toca el turno al Presidente de Tontilandia, todo el pelot�n apunt�ndole, y entonces se pone a gritar con todas sus fuerza:
“��Fuego, fuego!!