Author: admin

“Doc, I think my son has an STD,� a man tells his urologist on the phone. �Luckily, the only woman he�s screwed is our maid.�

�OK, don�t be hard on him. He�s just a kid,� the medic soothes. �Get him in here right away and I�ll take care of him.�

�But I�ve been screwing the maid too,� the man continues. �And I�ve got the same symptoms my son has.�

�Then come in with him and I�ll fix you both up,� replies the doctor.

�Well,� the man admits, �I think my wife has it too.�

�Oh, crap!� the physician roars. �That means we�ve all got it!�

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by calamjo

El perro de un abogado, corriendo sin correa, entra en una carnicer�a y se roba un gran pedazo de carne. El carnicero sigue al perro hasta la oficina del abogado y le pregunta a �ste: “Si un perro entra corriendo sin correa a mi carnicer�a y se roba un pedazo de carne, �tengo el derecho de exigir al due�o del perro que me pague la carne que el perro rob�?”

El abogado contesta: “Absolutamente.”

“Entonces me debe usted 9 pesos. Su perro me rob� un pedazo de carne hace unos momentos.”

El abogado, sin decir ni una palabra, escribe y entrega al carnicero un cheque amparando los 9 pesos.

Dos dias despu�s, el carnicero abre el correo de su casa y encuentra un sobre del abogado. Al abrirlo se da cuenta de que es �una factura por $50 en concepto de honorarios por la consulta!

An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says ” We’re having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of you can survive”The four open the door and look out below. The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers “God Save The Queen” and jumps.The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers “Viva La France” and he also jumps.This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers “Remember the Alamo” and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.

Q: Did you hear about the army nurse who went to bed eating popcorn? A: She woke up with a kernel between her legs.

A Dutchman in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so he went to his Priest.

“Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII, I hid a Jewish man in my attic.”

“Well,” answered the Priest, “That’s no a sin.”

“But I made him pay me 20 gulden for each week he stayed.”

“I admit that wasn’t good, but you did it for a good cause.”

“Oh thank you Father; that eases my mind. Father, I have one more question.”

“What is it son.”

“Do I now have to tell him the war is over?