Bill: “Have you heard my last speech?”Hillary: “No, I didn’t know it was the last one!”
Author: admin
Un matrimonio viaja por la
Un matrimonio viaja por la ruta 2 respetando el l�mite de 100 Km/h. El marido maneja; la esposa lo mira y dice:
“Querido, yo s� que estuvimos casados durante 15 a�os, pero quiero el divorcio”.
El esposo no dice nada, pero poco a poco sube la velocidad a 120 Km/h.
“No quiero que trates de cuestionarme sobre esto, porque te estuve enga�ando con tu mejor amigo y �l es mucho mejor en la cama que t�”.
El hombre sigue sin pronunciar palabra, simplemente aceleraba a medida que su rabia crec�a.
“Quiero la casa”.
El tipo simplemente acelera y ahora viajan a 150 Km/h.
“Tambi�n quiero a los ni�os”.
Ya van a 170 Km/h.
“Quiero el auto, las cuentas bancarias y todas las tarjetas de cr�dito”.
Cuando van a 190 Km/h, lentamente el marido comienza a desviar el auto hacia la columna de un puente.
“�Hay algo que t� quieras?”
“No, tengo todo lo que necesito”.
“Ah, s�, �qu� es?”
Justo antes de chocar a 200 Km/h, el esposo responde:
“Yo tengo el airbag”.
The bride’s father had to wait 5 days to buy the s
Q: Why was Roger Clinton’s wedding delayed 5 days?
A: The bride’s father had to wait 5 days to buy the shotgun.
Question and answer Christmas joke
Q: Olive?A: Yeah, you know, “Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names”
Maintains professional
Maintains professional attitude: A snob.Meticulous in attention to detail: A nitpicker.Mover and shaker: Favors steamroller tactics without regard for other opinions.
Sex in the Jungle
One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and, during her questions about his life, she asked him how he managed for sex.
“What’s that?” he asked.
She explained to him what sex was, and he said, “Oh,Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree.”
Horrified, she said, “Tarzan you have that all wrong! I will show you how to do it properly.”
She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground, and spread her legs wide. “Here,” she said, pointing, “You must put it in here.”
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, “Why the hell did you do that?”
“Tarzan check for bees!”
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
You're So Fat
You’re so fat that when you went to the zoo, the hippos got jealous.
Orgy
what do you call and orgy for rednecks?
a family runion
Knock KnockWho’s there?Laos!Laos who?Laos and
Knock KnockWho’s there?Laos!Laos who?Laos and found!
MIT Physisit breaks the smithereen
CAMBRIDGE, MA — A team of MIT physicists announced Monday that they have successfully split the smithereen, heretofore considered the smallest possible unit of matter. “For decades, conventional scientific wisdom held that the most to which you could blow something was smithereens,” Dr. Jonathan Eng said. “It now appears that it is possible, under certain special laboratory conditions, to blow something to sub-smithereens.”Eng said he believes the discovery will revolutionize humanity’s potential for harnessing smithereenetic energy.
12″ dick
if a 12″ dick was coming out of your forehead would you see it? no the balls would be covering your eyelids.
Knock KnockWho’s there?Violet!Violet who?Violet the
Knock KnockWho’s there?Violet!Violet who?Violet the cat out of the bag!