What is god’s name?
It’s Harold of course. He told everyone. He said Harold be thy name.
Author: admin
La se�ora est� muy contenta
La se�ora est� muy contenta porque hizo una boda triple: cas� el mismo dia a sus 3 hijas. Ella les pide a las 3 que por medio de eslogans publicitarios le digan por tel�fono como les iba en la luna de miel.
A los tres d�as, la primera dice: “Fanta”
“Ah, pues fanta est� muy buena. Quiere decir que le est� yendo bien.”
La segunda dice: “Bacard�.”
“Ah, pues todo con exceso nada con medida.”
Y la tercera dice: “Aerom�xico.”
La mam� se queda pensando: “�la l�nea aerea que va para arriba? Pues la verdad no entiendo qu� quiere decir…”
Entoces marca a Aerom�xico y le contestan as�: “Aerom�xico, entradas y salidas cada 15 minutos.”
Momma
ur moms so fAT she looks like ur faggit mom
Devil’s Punishment
There were these three guys. Two were white, and one was
black. They comitted a horrible crime and went to Hell. When
they got there they were praying for there life, even though
they were dead. The first white guy said to the devil “Please
let me go back to Earth, you can do any thing as long as I can
go back!” So the devil says “Pull down your pants” so the guy
does. The devil sticks his hand in fire and burns the guys dick
off. The guys is gone.
The second white guy says “Please let me go back to Earth you
can do whatever you want to me just let me go back” The devil
says “Pull your pants down” So the guys does and the devil
sticks his hand in fire and burns the mans dick off. And poof
he is gone. The black guy says “Please let me go back to Earth
you can do wahtever you want to me just let me go back!” So the
devil says “pull your pants down” so the guy does. The devil
sticks his hand in fire and wraps his hand around the guys dick.
Nothing happens. He tries again. Nothing happens. The devil
says “Whats wrong with you !!!??”
And the black guy says “Milk chocolate melts in your mouth not
in your hand”.
Little Leroy was starting his
Little Leroy was starting his first day of third grade and the lesson for
that day was to form sentences using Ebonics. The teacher would give each
student a word and they would have to use it in a sentence.
“Leroy?”
“Yea Ms. Johnson”
“Your word is contagious”
“Contagious?”
“Yes Leroy.”
Leroy thought long and hard, and finally a sentence came to mind. “Well?”,
Miss Johnson said.
Leroy replied “Evry time my mama gets olda, her contagious.”
Wet dream
i had a wet dream last night
you got run over by a bus and i pissed myself laughing
Wouldn’t marathons be a lot
Wouldn’t marathons be a lot more interesting if after the race started,
hungry wild animals were released onto the course? Tigers would be
fun.
– R.M. Weiner
How to shower like a man
Short version:
1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them
in a pile on the floor.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing a towel. If you see your girlfriend/wife
along the way, flash her.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see
if you have pecks. (No.)
4. Turn on the water.
5. Check for pecks again. (Still no.)
6. Get in the shower.
7. Don’t bother to look for a washcloth. (You don’t use one.)
8. Wash your face.
9. Wash your armpits.
10. Wash your penis and surrounding area.
11. Wash your ass.
12. Shampoo your hair. (Do not use conditioner.)
13. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
14. Open the door and look at you in the mirror.
15. Pee.
16. Rinse off and get out of the shower.
17. Return to the bedroom wearing a towel, if you pass your girlfriend/wife,
flash her.
Long version:
Replace #10 with: Masturbate using soap.
Duct Tape
Why do you have to wrap duct tape around a gerbil?
So that it doesn’t explode when you sodomize it.
Ms. Lewinsky on U.N
What did Ms. Lewinsky was allegedly say when offered a position at the U.N?
Would that, then, be a “missionary position?”
What’s the difference between a new husband…
What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog.
– After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
What is a zebra?
Q. What is a zebra?
A. 26 sizes larger than an “A” bra.