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A fire started on some grassland near a farm in Indiana. The fire department
from the nearby town was called to put the fire out. The fire proved to be more
than the small town fire department could handle, so someone suggested that a
rural volunteer fire department be called. Though there was doubt that they
would be of any assistance, the call was made.
The volunteer fire department arrived in a dilapidated old fire truck. They
drove straight towards the fire and stopped in the middle of the flames. The
volunteer firemen jumped off the truck and frantically started spraying water in
all directions. Soon they had snuffed out the center of the fire, breaking the
blaze into two easily controllable parts.
The farmer was so impressed with the volunteer fire department’s work and so
grateful that his farm had been spared, that he presented the volunteer fire
department with a check for $1000. A local news reporter asked the volunteer
fire captain what the department planned to do with the funds.
“That should be obvious,” he responded, “the first thing we’re gonna do is get
the brakes fixed on that stupid fire truck.”

If you want to pull a prank on someone without causing permanent damage, but looking as if you have…

Get a 250 liter (55 gallon or so) garbage can, or something pretty large. Put it in an appropriate place. Fill it up with water. Drop in a block of Dry Ice (about 25 Kilos or 50 pounds), or as much as you can muster up if you can’t get a full block. In the US, a block of Dry Ice is pretty inexpensive.

It will start bubbling furiously. Now, if you are in the US, pour in a bottle of Dove dishwashing soap, if elsewhere, washing up liquid, the sudsiest possible! It amazing how many bubbles can be produced by a single bottle of dishwashing liquid!!! (If you are really in an obnoxious mood, use 4 or 5 bottles of that bubble blowing soap – they last longer!)

We did a great prank on a friend once. He was an Elvis Impersonator, and often did performances, and always drove a restored classic car, painted pink, which was his pride-and-joy Elvis-mobile. We set up a plank on step ladders over his car, placed a low, flat, wide water container on it, filled it up, poured on the soap, dry ice and *pink* food coloring on his lawn about 5AM. (we had to be very quiet about this!)

About 45 minutes later, a lady called him up anonymously, telling him that he car was being eaten by aliens (We told her to say a h-u-g-e Blanc Mange, but unfortunately, she couldn’t without cracking up into laughter, so she used aliens.) Of course he thought it was a prank call, but when he looked out the window, all he saw was a H-U-G-E pink pile of bubbles swallowing up his car! He nearly had a heart attack! 😉

For the *mean spirited*, this works very will in a house. It will fill up a room with bubbles! Caution as it will damage things that are prone to water damage. Its nearly as good a trick as filling a house with popcorn, which takes a lot of effort! Some fellows supposedly went out a dorm window onto a narrow ledge and into an adjacent room. There they hung the bed frame out the window by a rope, tied the other end to the door knob, removed the hinge pins, and exited as they had entered.

Even without the pins, the hinges held the door in place till the occupant of the room returned, inserted his key, turned the handle, and watched his door fly across his room and out the double window, taking the window frame with it. The perpetrators said the look on his face was worth the cost of the repairs.

The Indian Top 10:

1. Tears on My Pillau.

2. Its my chappalti and I’ll cry if I want to.

3. Tikka Chance on Me.

4. Scatnaan.

5. Korma Korma Chameleon.

6. What’s the Story Morning Tandoori.

7. Easy like Sanjay Morning.

8. You Can’t Curry Love.

9. Poppadum Preach.

10. Sheikh Your Body. All available on the fantastic new album, Turban Hymns by Donner Summer.

Bohemian Curry (sung to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen)

Naan-aa, just killed a man
Poppadom against his head
Had lime pickle, now he’s dead.
Naan-aa, dinner just begun
But now I’m going to crap it all away.
Naan-aa,
ooh-ooh
Didn’t mean to make you cry,
Seen nothin’ yet just see the loo tomorrow,
Curry on, Curry on,
’cause nothing really madras.
Too late, my dinner’s gone
Sends shivers up my spine
Rectum aching all the time.
Goodbye every bhaji, I’ve got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and use the loo.
Naan-aa,
ooh-ooh,
This Dopiaza’s mild,
I sometimes wish we’d never come here at all…

(Guitar solo)
I see a little chicken tikka on the side,
Rogan Josh,
Rogan Josh
Pass the chutney made of mango.
Vindaloo does nicely
Nery very spicy
ME!
Biryani (Biryani)
Biryani (Biryani)
Biryani and a naan,
(A vindaloo loo looo… )
I’ve eaten balti, somebody help me
He’s eaten balti, get him to a lavatory,
Stand you well back
Cause this loo is quarantined.
Here it comes,
There it goes,
Technicolor yawn.
I chunder
No!
It’s coming up again
(There he goes)
I chunder
It’s coming up again
(There he goes)
It’s coming up again, (Up again) Coming up again (up again)
Here it comes again
(No no no no no no no no no No).
On my knees, I’m on my knees, I’m on my knees, Oh there he goes
This vindaloo is about to wreck my guts
Poor me… Poor me… Poor me!

(Guitar solo)

So you think you can chunder and still it’s all right?
So you want to eat curry and drink beer all night?
Ooh maybe, now you’ll puke like a baby,
just had to come out,
just had to come right out in here…

(Guitar solo)

Korma, saag or bhuna,
Balti, naan, bhaji.
Nothing makes a difference
Nothing makes a difference to me.

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.Putting her face in her hands, she moaned: “I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!”

There once were 2 baby animals: One is a duck and the other a skunk. As they were walking along with their parents, a car came speeding down the road. The baby skunk and duck watched in horror as their parents were run over by the car.

Now the 2 babies were orphans. They had to stay together and help each other. Soon enough they were curious and wanted to know what kind of animals they were. They asked each other to describe their looks and tell what they were.

The skunk went first and said…”Well, you have fluffy feathers, an orange bill, and you’re white so you must be a duck!”

The duck was now happy because he knew what type of animal he was. It was the duck’s turn to describe the skunk and tell him what he was.

The duck said… “Well you’re not really black, and you’re not really white, and you stink so you must be…(INSERT ETHNIC TERM HERE)!”