1. Women got off the Titanic first.
2. Women can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder
excuses.
3. Women get to flirt with systems support men who always return their
calls, and are nice to them when they blow up their computers.
4. A women’s boy friend’s clothes make them look elfin and gorgeous –
guys look like complete idiots in a women’s cloths.
5. Women can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
6. Women can cry and get off speeding fines.
7. Women have never lusted after a cartoon character or the central
figure in a computer game.
8. Taxis stop for women.
9. Men die earlier, so women get to cash in on the life insurance.
10. Women don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
11. Women get Free drinks.
12. Women get Free dinners.
13. Women get Free movies (you get the point).
14. Women can hug their friends without wondering if the friend thinks
there gay.
15. Women can hug their friends without wondering about their own
sexuality.
16. New lipstick gives women a whole new lease on life.
17. Condoms make no significant difference in women’s enjoyment of sex.
18. If women aren’t not making enough money they can blame the glass
ceiling.
19. It’s possible for a woman to live their whole lives without ever
taking a group shower.
20. No fashion faus pas a women make could ever rival The Speedo.
21. Women don’t have to fart to amuse ourselves.
22. Women never have to wonder if their parteners orgasm was real.
23. If women forget to shave, no one has to know.
24. Women can congratulate a teammate without ever touching her ass.
25. If women have a zit, they know how to conceal it.
26. Women never have to reach down every so often to rearrange their
privates.
27. If women are dumb, some people will find it cute.
28. Women don’t have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
29. Women have the ability to dress themselves.
30. Women have an excuse to be a total bitch at least once a month.
31. Women can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to
picture them naked.
32. If women marry someone 20 years younger, their aware that they look
like an idiot.
33. Women’s friends won’t think their weird if they ask whether there’s
spinach in their teeth.
34. With women there are times when chocolate really can solve all your
problems.
35. Gay waiters don’t make women uncomfortable.
36. Women will never regret piercing their ears.
37. Women can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
38. Women will never discover we’ve been duped by a Wonderbra.
39. Women know which drinking glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
Author: admin
Favorite animals?
What are a woman’s four favorite animals?
A mink in the closet, a Jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom, and a Jackass to pay for it all.
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Christine
Period
The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about
something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time
came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on
them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, knowing
that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came.
Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of
chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. Well,
the teacher couldn’t figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report,
so she asked him just what that was. “It’s a period,” reported Johnnie.
“Well I can see that,” she said, “but what is so exciting about a period.”
“Damned if I know,” said Johnnie, “but this morning my sister said she
missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted and the man next
door shot himself.”
Your Momma
Your Momma is like a Rifle One Cock And she Blows
Tofu and dildos
What do tofu and dildos have in common?
They’re both meat substitutes!
Sleep Better
An elderly woman went into the doctor’s office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, “I’d like to have some birth control pills.”
Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, “Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you’re 75 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?”
The woman responded, “They help me sleep better.”
The doctor thought some more and continued, “How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?”
The woman said, “I put them in my granddaughter’s orange juice and I
sleep better at night!”
Q: How many company
Q: How many company biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?A: Four; one to write the proposal, one to design the bulb-changer, one to design the bulb-fetcher, and one to design the bulb.
Rectum
One day Johnny walked into the classroom, and the teacher said, “Johnny, do you have your report done?”
He replied, “No ma’am.”
She said, “If you don’t have it done by tomorrow then I’m going to make a call to your parents.”
As Johnny is walking home from school he looks to his left and sees two greyhounds racing, one gets so far ahead of the other one that it just stops and the other one rams its head right up its ass.
Johnny takes out a piece of paper and writes it all down, saying to himself, ‘This is going to be my report.’
The next day at school the teacher says, “Johnny, do you have your report done?”
He says, “Sure do.” He goes up to the front of the class and starts telling them what he saw. “Yesterday I was walking home from school when I saw these two greyhounds racing, and one rammed its head right up the other’s ass.”
The teacher says, “Johnny, we don’t use the word ‘ass’ in the classroom, it’s rectum.”
Johnny said, “Rectum? Hell, it damn near killed ’em.”
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci
Blonde Freezer Fun
What do you call a blonde in the freezer?A frosted flake!Submitted by Amber and Erielle
Have you ever seen..
Have you ever seen an asshole wrapped in plastic?
Just look at your drivers license!
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
The skunk
what do you say when a skunk comes to a court room?
oder in the court!
ratz
What has A Tail, Big Nose and a Trunk??
A rat on vacation!