Yo’ mamma so fat when God said “let there be light”” he asked yo’ mamma to move ova.
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Author: admin
Un hombre que hab�a perdido
Un hombre que hab�a perdido su trabajo y tras varios meses de b�squeda, atiende un aviso de Microsoft solicitando barrenderos. El gerente de personal le pregunta sus datos, lo hace barrer, lo felicita y le informa:
��El puesto es suyo! Deme su correo electr�nico y le enviar� el d�a y la hora que se tiene que presentar�.
El tipo, desconcertado, contesta que no cuenta con correo electr�nico. Entonces, el gerente le dice que lo lamenta mucho pero que si no tiene correo electr�nico virtualmente no existe y que como no existe, no le pude dar el trabajo.
Desesperado y sin saber que hacer, pues tan s�lo cuenta con dos d�lares en el bolsillo, decide ir hasta el mercado m�s cercano y comprar un caj�n de tomates de 10 Kg. Despu�s, va casa por casa vendiendo a d�lar la libra de tomates. En menos de 2 horas hab�a duplicado el dinero. Repite la operaci�n tres veces m�s, luego cena en un sitio por cinco, y se vuelve con quince d�lares a su casa.
Se da cuenta que de esa forma puede sobrevivir y sale cada vez m�s temprano y vuelve m�s tarde, y as� duplica, triplica y hasta cuadriplica el dinero en un solo d�a. Con bastante suerte de su lado, logra comprarse una camioneta que al a�o cambia por un cami�n y a los tres ya tiene una peque�a flota. Al cabo de cinco a�os, el buen hombre es due�o de una de las principales distribuidoras alimentar�as del pa�s. Entonces, recibe a un agente de seguros de vida y cuando la charla termina, el vendedor le pide su correo electr�nico para enviarle la p�liza. El sujeto contesta que no tiene correo electr�nico, es m�s, ni siquiera una computadora.
�Si usted no tiene correo electr�nico y ha llegado a construir este imperio, no quiero imaginarme lo que ser�a si tuviera correo electr�nico…”
“�Ser�a barrendero de Microsoft!”, contesta el buen hombre.
Moraleja 1: Internet no te soluciona la vida.
Moraleja 2: Si trabajas por tu cuenta y tienes suerte puedes ser millonario.
Moraleja 3: Si quieres ser barrendero de Microsoft debes tener correo electr�nico.
Terminado el acto sexual, la
Terminado el acto sexual, la chica, dulce y relajadamente, se dirige al gal�n:
“�Despu�s de la boda, me vas a hacer el amor con la misma pasi�n?”
“Es probable. Siempre tuve pasi�n por las mujeres casadas”, responde con reticencia el tipo.
Palm Sunday
Once there was a little boy named Johnny who was three years old. When it
was Palm Sunday, he couldn’t wait to go to church to find out what Palm
Sunday was. But sadly, Johnny came down with the chickenpox. His parents
hired a baby-sitter to take care of Johnny while they went to church. When
they came home holding palm leaves, Johnny asked, “What are the palm tree
leaves for mommie?” She replied, “When Jesus walked through the town,
people waved palm leaves at him in respect.” Johnny looked upset and said,
“Wouldn’t ya know? The first day I’m not in church, he shows up!”
Doctors
How many doctors does it take to unscrew a light bulb?
Depends……..How much insurance does the light bulb have?
Mexican Funeral
Why are there only two paul-bearers at a Mexican funeral?
There are only two handles on a garbage can!
A stone was placed at
A stone was placed at a ford in a river with the inscription:
“When this stone is covered it is dangerous to ford here.”
Whats the difference between a blonde and a brick?
After you lay a brick it doen’t follow you around whining for
two weeks.
Little Johnny
LITTLE JOHNNY ON ….. GRAMMAR:
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of
hands from those who could use the word ‘ beautiful ‘ in the same sentence
twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, ‘My father bought
my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.’
Very good, Suzie, ‘replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. ‘My
mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully.’ he said.
‘Excellent, Michael!’ Then, the teacher called on little Johnny.
‘Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was
pregnant, and he said, ‘Beautiful,… just beautiful!”
Q. When is a pixie
Q. When is a pixie not a pixie?
A. When he’s got his head up a fairy’s skirt, then he’s a goblin’.
Turning to Stone
One day there were two boys playing by a stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to it and the other boy couldn’t figure out why his friend was at the bush so long. The other boy went over to the bush and looked. The two boys were looking at a woman bathing naked in the steam. All of a sudden the second boy took off running.
The first boy couldn’t understand why he ran away so he took off after his friend. Finally, he caught up to him and asked why he ran away.
The boy said to his friend, “My mom told me if I ever saw a naked lady I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard, so I ran.”
“That wife of mine is a liar”
“That wife of mine is a liar,” said the angry husband to a sympathetic pal
seated next to him in the bar. “How do you know?” the friend asked. “She didn’t
come home last night, and when I asked her where she’d been, she said she’d
spent the night with her sister, Shirley.” “So?” the friend replied. “So, she’s
a liar. I spent the night with her sister Shirley!”