why is the sand wet?
because the seaweed!!
Author: admin
Hello, Hello, Hello
This guy comes home from work and when he walks into his bedroom, he finds his wife in bed with 3 other men that he works with.
He says “hello hello hello”
And the wife says “what, aren’t you talking to me!”
Murder Mystery
A man finds his seat in the theatre, but it’s too far from the stage. He whispers to the usher, “This is a mystery and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat, and I’ll give you a handsome tip.”The usher moves him to the second row, and the man hands the usher a quarter. The usher looks at the quarter and then leans over and whispers, “The wife did it.”
Buying a Fur Coat
Watching her mother as she tried on her new fur coat, young Jackie said unhappily, “Mom, do you realize some poor dumb beast suffered so you could have that?”
The woman shot her an angry look, “Jackie, how dare you talk about your father like that!”
AU, NZ and SA
Three hang-glider pilots, one from New Zealand, one from South Africa, and the other from Australia, are sitting around a campfire near Ayers Rock embroiled in a conversation of bravado.
Andy, from Australia, says, ‘I must be the meanest an’ toughest hang-glider dude there is, maan. Shit, just the other day, I landed in a field on top of a croc who got loose from the swamp an’ had ate six men before I wrestled it to the ground an’ snapped it’s neek with me bare hands.’
Jaapie, from South Africa, couldn’t stand to be bettered. While the froth at the corner of Andy’s mouth settled, he stood up and said, ‘Well you guys leesin’ to this. After a 300 km flight, I landed in the middle of the desert and a five-metre Namibian desert snake came at me from under a rock. I grebbed thet bastard with mar bare hands and beet it’s head off end sucked its poison down in one go. End I’m still here today.’
The Kiwi remained silent, slowly poking the fire with his dick.
At a hockey game you see fast pucks.
Q. What is the difference between a hockey game and a High School reunion?
A. At a hockey game you see fast pucks.
Why aren’t blondes good cattle herders?
Q: Why aren’t blondes good cattle herders?
A: Because they can’t even keep two calves together!
Blonde Brain Cells
Q: What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
A: Pregnant!
Yo mama
yo mama so ugly blind people run away from her
An IBM acronym
IBM: I’ll Buy Macintosh
Clinton commits perjury.
Q: If called to testify in a trial how long will it before Clinton commits
perjury.
A: When he’s sworn in.
Braggadocio
Four guys are drinking in a bar, bragging about their sons. “My son,” the first one says, “started out washing cars at dealership, but now owns the dealership and just gave one of his friends four new cars of his choice!””My son,” said the second, “started out serving lunch in a real estate office, but now owns the real estate office and just gave one of his friends a new mansion!””My son,” said the third, “started out sweeping the floors at the Stock Exchange, but now practically owns the Stock Exchange and just gave one of his friends a $1,000,000 in stock.””Well,” the fourth guy said, “my son’s turned out to be a bit of a disappointment. He’s a gay hairdresser and he has SEVERAL boyfriends. On the plus side, between them, they gave him four cars, a mansion, and a million dollars in stock for his birthday.”