Mad man

there was one two mad man one said to another u have seen todays news paper second one tells no why first one tells apne india aur bharat ke bich me ladai hui second one says thank god apna hindustan bich mai nahi aaya……………………………………

GEE GUYS!

Three teenagers were suddenly lost in the middle of an unknown
desert. They had no water and no food. NOTHING to do! So….
they started to pray to thier GOD. 5 minutes later, a beautiful
female angel came down.

Jonny asked, “who are you?”

The angel responded by saying that she will give food and water
and a trip home, if all of the three teenagers dicks added up to
30 inches!

Jonny said “sounds great, this should be easy guys!”

So, Jonny goes up to the extraordinary beautiful female angel
first. The angel took out her measuring tape….Jonny added up
to an amazing 24 inches.

Soon enough, one of his two partners came up. Henry goes up to
the eaxtraordinary beautiful female angel. The angel took out
her measuring tape…. Henry only measured 5 inches.

Now it was Gabi’s turn!

Henry yells out, “c’mon Gabi, we only need one fucking inch!”

So Gabi goes up to the extraordinary beautiful female angel,
feeling confident he allows the angel to measure him. The angel
took out her measuring tape, all of a sudden she takes out her
ruler…. Gabi thankfully measures exactly one inch!

The extraordinary beautiful female angel, then says “you three
teenagers have succesfully measured 30 inches, congratulations,
here is some water and food… you will shortly be back in your
home town of Newton, Massachusetts.

The three boys were very excited………….

The three teenagers were now back in Newton, Massachusetts, They
were on their walk to Jonny’s house, when out of now where…..

Gabi says, “GEE GUYS, it was a good thing I had a boner!”

Speakerphone

Have you ever worked in an office where someone insisted upon listening to their voice mail using the speakerphone (at full volume, naturally). It can really begin to bother you after a while. I found a fairly easy fix for that though.

I have my wife call his desk when he’s not there and leave a message like “Hi, this is Candy from 1-900-HOT-BABE. You haven’t paid for the ‘toys’ we sent you, you naughty boy. You wouldn’t want me to come over there and spank you, would you?”

It is the last time you hear that particular speakerphone, I can assure you.