Author: admin

Se encuentra en su oficina trabajando diligentemente la Srita. Manr�quez, cuando se le acerca sospechosamente su compa�ero de trabajo Juan R. y le susurra, “�Mmmmm.. qu� rico huele su cabello esta ma�ana!”

De inmediato ella vuela hacia la oficina de su Jefe, y muy molesta le dice, “Oiga, Lic. Fuentes, me vengo a quejar de Juan R, hace unos momentos se acerc� a mi y me dijo que qu� rico oli�a mi cabello �y eso es acoso sexual!”

El Lic. Fuentes voltea y le dice, “Oiga se�orita, �pero eso no es un cumplido halagador?”

Y la Srita Manriquez contesta:

“Normalmente lo tomaria as�, �pero el tal Juan R es un ENANO!”

There was a man that owned a giant gorilla and, all its life, he’d never left it on its own. But eventually he had to go on a business trip and had to leave his gorilla in the care of his next-door neighbor. So he explained to his neighbor that all he had to do was feed his gorilla three bananas a day at three, six and nine o’clock. But he was never ever, ever to touch its fur. So the next day the man came and gave the gorilla a banana and looked at it for a while thinking, �Why can’t I touch its fur?� as their didnt seem to be anything wrong with it. Every day he came in and looked for a little while longer as he still couldnt understand until, about a week later, he’d worked himself into a frenzy and decided that he was going to touch the gorilla. He passed it the banana and very gently brushed the back of his hand against its fur. Suddenly the gorilla went ape shit and started to jump around, then it turned and began to running towards the man who, in turn, ran through the front door, over the lawn, across the street, into some one else’s sports car and drove off. In the rear-veiw mirror, he could see the gorilla in its own sports car, driving right behing him. He drove for two hours until the engine began to splutter and the car just stopped. He jumped out and began to run down the street, over a brick wall, into someone’s front garden and up the apple tree.He turned around to find the gorilla right behind him beating its chest. The man jumped down and ran back in to the street screaming, until it became dark and he thought he’d lost the gorilla. The man ran into an alleyway then, suddenly, he saw a giant shaddow coming down the street ahead. The gorilla! It came to the end of the alley, stood and looked striaght into the bloodshoot eyes of the man and came towards him slowly. This time there was no escape. As the gorilla neared him, the man began to feel faint. The giant beast came face to face with him, raised its mighty hand and said, �Tag! You’re it!�

The incredibly dumbFire investigators on Maui have determined the cause of a blaze that destroyed a $127,000 home last month – a short in the homeowner’s newly installed fire prevention alarm system. “This is even worse than last year,” said the distraught homeowner, “when someone broke in and stole my new security system…”

Good evening ladies”, Sherlock Holmes said as he passed three women eating bananas on a park bench.

“Do you know them?” Dr. Watson asked.

“No”, Holmes replied, “I’ve never met the nun, the prostitute or the bride we just passed.”

“Good Lord, Holmes, how in the world did you know all that?”

“Elementary, my dear Watson. The nun ate the banana by holding it one hand and using the fingers of the other hand to properly break the fruit into small pieces.”

“The prostitute”, he continued, “grabbed with both hands and crammed the whole thing into her mouth.”

“Amazing!” Watson exclaimed. “But how did you know the third was a newlywed?”

“Because she held it one hand and pushed her head toward it with the other.”

Once there were 3 Chinese mothers in a church.

They always liked to compete with their sons.

First mother: My son is a priest. Whenever people see him they say, “Oh
my priest!”

Second mother: Oh yeah, my son is a bishop. Whenever they see him they
say, “Oh my bishop!”

Third mother: (after thinking a bit) Well my son is a fat, lazy pig and
whenever people see my son they say, “Oh my God!”

1.How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back? 2.Yeah, I used to cut class a lot too. 3.Let me smell that shirt – don’t worry, it’s good for another week. 4.Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I’ll be glad to feed and walk him every day. 5.That outfit isn’t sexy enough, here, unbutton your blouse. 6.Why don’t you hitchhike? It would totally be cheaper. 7.The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It’s not like I’m running a prison around here. 8.Don’t clean your room so often. It makes the rest of the house look bad. 9.Can I borrow your new speed metal CDs? 10.Naw, you don’t have to call me, I’ll eventually figure it out if you’re in trouble.