Author: admin

The husband finally wised up to the fact that his wife was less than faithful.
He hired a private investigator to follow her and in less than a week, had all
the information that he needed on the’ other man’.

The husband convinced himself that his would still be a loving and trustworthy
marriage had not this S.O.B. come onto the scene. Being a man of the 90’s and
all, he decided to handle the matter in what he judged to be sophisticated and
business-like manner.

He sent the following e-mail to his wife’s lover:

Sir, It has been brought to my attention that for some time now you have been
carrying on an affair with my wife. So that we may settle this matter in an
intelligent fashion, please be at my office at 3 PM on Friday next.

The ‘other man’ was highly amused by the husband’s formal manner and sent the
following reply:

Dear Sir, I have received a copy of the your mass mailing this morning. You
may be advised that I will attend the scheduled conference in your office’s
auditorium.

En una fiesta los organizadores se dieron cuenta de que hab�a muchas m�s personas de las que hab�an invitado.

Entonces dijo el mero mero de la fiesta, “Ahora s� los voy a chingar.” Y toma el micr�fono y dice, “Los invitados de la novia que se pasen del lado izquierdo, y los invitados del novio que se pasen del lado derecho.”

Todos corrieron para los lados, y s�lo unas 10 personas se quedaron en medio.

Y dice el de la fiesta, “�Todos se me van a la mierda, porque este es un bautizo no una boda!”

Two men (if you must know, Bob and Jon) died on the same day.
Then they went to heaven. There before them stood the gates of
heaven with God in front. He said “Before you go to heaven,
what would you like people to say at your funeral?” Bob said,
“I would like people to say that I was a kind, trustworthy man
and it was sad that I left.”
Jon said, “Yes, yes, that would all be nice, but what I really
want them to say is, “LOOK!! HE MOVED!!”

The Pope arrives at JFK and he’s met at a baggage claim by a driver in a bad
suit and a clip-on tie, holding a hand-lettered sign that says, “Pope.”
After getting the entire Pope’s luggage loaded in the limo-and His Holiness
doesn’t travel light, the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the
curb.
“Hey, Mr. Pope,” says the driver in accented English, “Why have you not seated
yourself in the excellent limo?”
“Well, to tell you the truth,” says the Pope, “They never let me drive at the
Vatican, and I’d really like to drive.”
“That is very much against the rules!” protested the driver, wishing he’d
never left Calcutta.
“There might be something extra in it for you,” said the Pope.
Reluctantly, the driver got in the back as the Pope got in behind the wheel.
The driver quickly regretted his decision when, after clearing the airport, the
Pope accelerated the limo to 105 mph.
“Please be driving not so rapidly, Mr. Pope,” pleaded the worried driver, but
the Pope kept the pedal to the metal. Then they heard the siren.
“Oh, my Gods, now I am surely losing my license,” moaned the driver.
The Pope pulled over and rolled down the window as the patrolman approached,
but the cop took one look at him, went back to his motorcycle, and got on the
radio.
“I need to talk to the Chief,” he said to the dispatch.
When the Chief got on the radio, the cop told him that he’d stopped a limo
going a hundred and five.
“So bust him,” said the Chief.
“I think the guy’s a big shot,” said the cop.
“All the more reason.”
“No, I mean really a big shot,” said the cop.
“What’d ya got there, the Mayor?”
“Bigger.”
“Governor.”
“Bigger.”
“Well,” said the Chief, “Who is it?” “I don’t know,” said the cop. “But he’s
got the Pope driving for him.”