A man kills a deer and brings it home and cooks it for dinner but does not tell the children what it is.He told them he would give them a clue.”its what mum calls dad sometimes”,the little girl cries out”DONT EAT IT ITS AN ARSE HOLE”.
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Yo mama’s head so small
Yo mama head so small that she got her ear pierced and died.
Ur mamma so hairy,…
ur mamma so hairy,when u were bron u got rug burns
Dinosaur
What do you call a dinosaur with a sore bum?
Stegasore-ass
or
Tyrannosore-ass
Duck in drug store
So anyway, this duck walks into a drugstore and says, ” Give me some Chap stick and put it on my bill”.
Same duck walks into the same drugstore and says, ” Give me a condom.”
To which the druggist replies
“Do you want that on your bill?”
The duck says “No, I’m not that kind of duck.”
The Difference Is ..
What’s the difference between a porcupine and the White House?
With a porcupine, the pricks are on the outside!
Accidents
children in the dark cause accidents,
accidents in the dark cause children!
Two tigers
Two tigers are stalking through the undergrowth in single file when the one to
the rear reaches out with his tongue and licks the bottom of the tiger in front.
The startled tiger turns around and says, “Hey! Cut it out, all right!”
The rear tiger says, “sorry,” and they continue. After about another five
minutes, the rear tiger again reaches out with his tongue and licks the bottom
of the tiger in front. The front tiger turns around and cuffs the rear tiger and
says, “I said stop it!”
The rear tiger says, “sorry,” and they continue. After about another five
minutes, the rear tiger once more licks the bottom of the tiger in front. The
front tiger turns around and asks the rear tiger, “What is it with you, anyway?”
The rear tiger replies, “Well, I just ate a lawyer and I’m trying to get the
taste out of my mouth!”
How do you get a blo
Q: How do you get a blond out of a tree?A: Wave
A kangaroo walks into a bar. He tells the…
A kangaroo walks into a bar. He tells the bartender, “Blood is the lipstick of
all wounds.”
The bartender does not know how he said this, or why.
George Dubya on a Si
George Bush is on a sinking boat. Who gets saved? The nation.
Army vs. Marines!
Two Marines boarded a quick shuttle flight out of Dallas, headed for Houston.
One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat.
Just before take-off, an Army soldier got on and took the aisle seat next to the two Marines.
The Soldier kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Marine in the window seat said, “I think I’ll get up and get a coke.”
“No problem,” said the Soldier, “I’ll get it for you.”
While he was gone, the Marine picked up the Soldier’s shoe and spit in it. When the Soldier returned with the coke, the Marine in the middle seat said, “That looks good, I think I’ll have one too.”
Again, the Soldier obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the Marine picked up the soldier’s other shoe and spit in it. The Soldier returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the rest of the short flight to Houston.
As the plane was landing, the Soldier slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.
“How long must this go on?” the Soldier asked.
“This fighting between our services? This hatred? This animosity?
This spitting in shoes and peeing in cokes?”