14> Silently weeps if you forget to turn off the music while playing Tetris.
13> The last sensation felt by anyone “borrowing” a pen is the quick sting of several tiny Punji sticks.
12> No one will carpool with him since that ejector seat incident.
11> He and his girlfriend Natasha keep threatening to “make big trouble for Moose and Squirrel.”
10> His twin, who looks just like him except that he wears black, keeps coming in at lunch to booby trap his cubicle.
9> Always trying to convince you that Yakov Smirnoff is actually funny.
8> You could swear he used to look just like Sean Connery, but now he’s the spitting image of Pierce Brosnan.
7> “I may ask; would you additionally like a packet of oil-fried potato slices, comrade?”
6> His shoe has a setting for either “Ring” or “Vibrate.”
5> She taps that commie pen on her commie desk the same commie way EVERY FRIGGIN’ DAY!
4> Last October you helped him ship out 750 boxes of old computer punch cards to addresses all over Florida and the “tip” he promised you was “dump all your stocks.”
3> Suspiciously never complains about the temperature in the office.
2> He asks you to pull his finger — until it clicks.
1> He introduces himself as “Bond… Jame– Er, Finkelmeyer… Junius Finkelmeyer.”
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ]