Defendant: Judge, I want you to appoint me another lawyer.
Judge: And why is that?
Defendant: Because the Public Defender isn’t interested in my case.
Judge (to Public Defender): Do you have a comment on the defendant’s motion?
Public Defender: I’m sorry, Your Honor. I wasn’t listening.
Author: admin
Frosted flakes
One day, a blonde named Sally was putting together a puzzle.
She was really stumped and very frustrated, so she decided to ask her husband for help.
”It’s supposed to be a tiger!” Sally cried.
”Honey,” said Dan, “Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box!”
Submitted by Yisman
Edited by Curtis
Un f�sico, un ingeniero y
Un f�sico, un ingeniero y un matem�tico viajan en tren por Escocia. Al observar por la ventana ven una oveja negra.
“Aj�, veo que las ovejas escocesas son negras”, observa el f�sico.
“Humm, querr�s decir que algunas ovejas escocesas son negras”, aclara el ingeniero.
“No, todo lo que sabemos es que existe al menos una oveja en Escocia, y que por lo menos uno de sus lados es negro”, objeta el matem�tico.
Good Luck, Mr. Gorsky
It seems when Apollo Mission Astronaut, Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous “One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for mankind” statement, but followed it by several remarks – usual com traffic between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control.
Before he reentered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark “Good luck, Mr. Gorsky.”
Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut, however, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian nor American space programs. Over the years many people have questioned him as to what the “Good luck, Mr. Gorsky” statement meant.
A few months ago, (Jul 05, Tampa Bay FL) while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26 year old question to Armstrong. He finally responded.
It seems that Mr. Gorsky had finally died and so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question. When he was a kid, he was playing baseball with his brother in the backyard. His brother hit a fly ball which landed in front of his neighbors bedroom window. His neighbors were Mr and Mrs. Gorksy.
As he leaned down to pick it up, he heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky. “Oral sex, oral sex you want? You’ll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!”
Glass Wall
Your so dumb, you climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.
Seems Bill wasted all that
Seems Bill wasted all that energy running for President.
He thought they said the “Oral” Office.
Do you see the dead bird?
A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park one morning.Suddenly, the brunette notices a dead bird. “Awww, look at the dead birdie,” she says sadly.The blonde stops, looks up into the sky, and says, “Where? Where?”
What women really mean when they tell you something.
I heard a
noise
I noticed you were
almost asleep
You
Want
You
Want
We
Need
I
Want
It’s your
decision
The correct
decision should be obvious by now
Do what you
want
You’ll pay for this
later
We need to
talk
I need to
complain
Sure…go
ahead
I don’t want you
to
You’re certainly
attentive tonight
Is sex all you ever
think about?
I’m not
emotional!
I’m not having a
period
This kitchen is so
inconvenient
I want a new
house…and curtains and carpeting, furniture…
Hang the picture
there
No, I mean hang it
there!
Do you love
me?
I’m going to ask
for something expensive
I’ll be ready in a
minute.
Kick off your shoes
and find a good game on T.V.
You have to learn
to communicate.
Just agree with
me.
Are you listening
to me!?
Too late, your a
goner
I’m
sorry.
You’ll be
sorry.
No
Yes
Maybe
No
Do you like this
recipe?
It’s easy to fix,
so you’d better get get used to it
I’m not
yelling!
Yes I am yelling
because I think this is
important.
Jungle Accident
Three men were flying on a plane over the jungle when it crashed. They were the only people who survived. They decided that starting the next morning one of them would go out and make weapons and see if he could kill anything.
So the next morning the first man went out. He didn’t come back till about noon. When they saw him they ran to him and helped him carry the deer back to the plane wreckage. They asked him how he killed it.
He said “I find tracks…I follow tracks…I kill deer.”
So the next morning the second guy set out. He too came back at noon. When they saw him they ran to him and helped him carry the buffalo he had killed back to the plane wreckage. They asked him how he had killed it.
He said “I find tracks…I follow tracks…I kill buffalo.”
The next morning the third guy went out. The other two were watching and watching for him. When it was almost sundown and he still hadn’t returned they started getting worried. Then they saw a person stumbling towards them he looked awful, really bad cuts and a broken arm. They went and helped him to the fire they had made and asked him what had happened.
He said “I find tracks…I follow tracks…and…I got hit by a train.”
The Sermon!
A minister gave a talk to the Lion’s Club on sex.
When he got home he couldn’t tell his wife that he had spoken on sex, so he
said he had discussed horseback riding with the members.
A few days later, she ran into some men at the shopping center and they
complimented her on the speech her husband had made.
She said, “Yes, I heard. I was surprised about the subject matter, as he’s
only tried it twice.
The first time he got so sore he could hardly walk, and the second time he
fell off!”
Beer
A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm.
His friend Doug stops him and asks, “Hey Bob! Whacha get the case of beer for?”
“I got it for my wife, eh.” answers Bob.
“Oh!” exclaims Doug, “Good trade.”
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by calamjo
Sex
wht is similarity between a rat and a man?
* they both search a hole