A man is sitting on a train across from a busty blonde wearing a tiny miniskirt. Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the top ofher thighs. To his delight, he realizes she has gone without underwear. Theblonde realizes he is staring and inquires, “Are you looking at my pussy?””Yes, I’m sorry,” replies the man and promises to avert his eyes.”It’s quitealright,” replies the woman, “It’s very talented, watch this, I’ll make itblow a kiss to you.” Sure enough the pussy blows him a kiss. The man, whois completely absorbed, inquires what else the wonder pussy can do.”I canalso make it wink,” says the woman. The man stares in amazement as the pussywinks at him.”Come and sit next to me,” suggests the woman, patting the seat.The man moves over and is asked, “Would you like to stick a couple of fingers in?” Stunned, the man replies, “Good grief! Can it whistle too?!”
Author: admin
Television
A blonde walked into a store and asked to buy a television. The man said that they did not sell televisions to blondes, so the blonde left.
That night the blonde dyed her hair red. In the morning she went back to the store and asked to buy a television. The guy still said we don�t sell televisions to blondes. The blonde asked how did he know she was a blonde. He answered because that�s not a television; it�s a microwave!
Why did Bill Clinton veto
Why did Bill Clinton veto the tax cuts?
So he could pay his interns.
Smart Blonde
What do you call a smart blonde? Extinct
The Tearful Bride…
The Tearful Bride…
A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears.
She sobs, “Robert doesn’t appreciate what I do for him.”
“Now, now,” her mother comforted, “I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding.”
“No, mother,” you don’t understand.
“I bought a frozen turkey roll and he yelled and screamed at me about the price!”
“Well, the nerve of that lousy cheapskate!” says her mom.
“Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars.”
“No, mother it wasn’t the price of the turkey, it was the airplane ticket.”
“Airplane ticket…. What did you need an airplane ticket for?”
“Well mother, when I went to fix it, I looked at the directions on the package and it said –
‘Prepare from a frozen state,’ so I flew to Alaska!”
Wedding practical joke
Smaller or larger tuxedoA friend got married and I, being the best man, decided a humorous practical joke was in order. One of the duties of the best man is to make arrangements for the pick up and return of the groom’s tuxedo.After final fitting, rent an extra coat jacket that is either three or four sizes smaller or larger than the groom’s. Explain to the tux shop what you’re up to. Pick up the groom’s fitted coat, switch with the extra rented coat, and deliver to the groom only when it becomes time to actually get dressed.The friend of mine wore a 42 long, but the one I provided was a 38 short. Talk about some serious fun! Don’t reveal that you know anything as long as possible.
Back into the Shower
Your mama is so ugly that she has to back into the shower so the water
doesn’t see her.
Tech Support for Etch-A-Sketch
Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has a distorted display. What should I do?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has these funny little lines all over the screen.
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
A: Pick it up and shake it. Set it down.
Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has lines that prevent me from doing my art project.
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I delete a document from my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.
Q: How do I keep from losing my Etch-A-Sketch document?
A: Stop shaking it.
What do you call a
What do you call a pool full of Mexicans?
Bean dip.
You just bought your family
You just bought your family their lst Atari game system.You and your wife celebrate your anniversay at the K-mart cafeteria.You think the only tools “real men” need are duck tape and caulk, and you have sucessful repair projects to prove it.
Positions
A professor goes along the corridor of the college. A student approaches him:
“Good morning, professor. May I ask you?” “Sure.” “Tell me, please, when you go
to bed where do you put your beard on or under the cover?” After some pause:
“Well, you know, I don’t remember…” “Well, sorry.” In a one week the exhausted
green professor with red eyes meets the same student and cries: “You, I can’t
sleep for the whole week! It is uncomfortable to sleep in both positions!
Day after Christmas.
It’s the day after Christmas and young Johnny rides his new bike up to a stop light where a policeman on his horse is waiting for the light to change.
The policeman looks over at Johnny and says, “Got that bike for Christmas, sonny?”
The youngster responds, proudly, “Ya, Santa brought it for me.”
The policeman then proceeds to write the young fellow a bicyle violation ticket for not having a reflector on the back bumper and hands it to him saying, “Well, next time you better tell him to put a light on it.”
Johnny looks at the citation, looks back up at the cop and says, “And did Santa bring you that horse?”
Humouring the youngster, the policeman answers, “Why, yes, he did.”
To which Johnny responds, “Well, next time you better tell him to put the dick underneath the horse, not on top.”