The husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife complained, as usual, “I have a headache.””Perfect!”, her husband said. “I was just in the bathroom powdering my dick with aspirin.”
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Un granjero est� platicando con
Un granjero est� platicando con una mujer:
“Al principio, mis gallinas no pon�an huevos, pero despu�s comenzaron a ponerlos en abundancia”.
“Qu� coincidencia. Al principio de mi matrimonio yo no pod�a tener hijos, pero despu�s tuve una familia numerosa”, comenta la se�ora.
“Para que mis gallinas pusieran, lo que hice fue cambiar de gallo”.
“�Qu� coincidencia, yo tambi�n!”
aids
once their was this blonde with huge size 50 brasts. next to her
was this little ugly man. the man pulled out a 100 dallor bill
and asked if her could stick his dick up her pussy. the blonde
excepted.
the little man and the blonde go to the bathroom and have sex.
after the sex the blonde asks if the man has AIDS and the man
replies “no” so the blondes gasps and says “good , i wouldnt
want to catch that again.
Tuba joke
Q: What’s a tuba for?A: 1 1/2 X 3 1/2.
Jap Cars
This lady is shopping in a supermarket when she notices this handsome muscular boy doing the bagging at one of the checkouts.Making sure she goes through his line she leans over and asks if he’ll carry her groceries out to which he responds, “Sure lady”.They no sooner get out of the store and she again leans over and whispers, “You know, I have an Itchy Pussy”, to which he responds, “You’ll have to point it out to me lady, all those Japanese cars look alike!!”
Why does a sorority girl close her eyes during sex
Why does a sorority girl close her eyes during sex?
So she can fantasize about shopping.
Washing the Dog
A young boy, about seven years old, was at the corner grocery picking out a box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over and trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do.
“No laundry” the boy said, “I’m going to wash my dog.”
“But you shouldn’t use this to wash your dog. It’s very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he’ll get sick. In fact, it might even kill him.”
But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergent to the counter and paid for it, even as the grocer still tried to talk him out of washing his dog.
About a week later the boy was back in the store to buy some candy. The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing.
“Oh, he died,” the boy said.
The grocer, trying not to be an I-told-you-so, said he was sorry the dog died but added, “I tried to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog.”
The boy replied, “I don’t think it was the detergent that killed him.”
“Oh, What was it then?” “I think it was the spin cycle!”
Una gitana caminaba por la
Una gitana caminaba por la calle, se topa con un se�or a quien le dice:
“Dame tu mano, si me das cien pesos, te quito la sal.”
El se�or le responde:
“Le doy quinientos pesos, �pero qu�teme el az�car!”
Words of wisdom
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand. Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met OK, so what’s the speed of dark? How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink? If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film. Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark. Many people quit looking for work when they find a job. I intend to live forever – so far, so good Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them. Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines I’m not cheap, but I am on special this week I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy If you ain’t makin’ waves, you ain’t kickin’ hard enough! Mental backup in progress – Do Not Disturb! Mind Like A Steel Trap – Rusty And Illegal In 37 States Televangelists: The Pro Wrestlers of religion. Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you. If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder … 24 hours in a day … 24 beers in a case … coincidence? Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire. When I’m not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
Human cloning
“It would be a mistake for the United States Senate to allow any kind of human
cloning to come out of that chamber.” �George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., April
10, 2002
The dog with no legs
what do you call a dog with no legs?
no need in calling him he cant come.
Iban por el camino dos
Iban por el camino dos compadres que ven�an de tomarse unos tragos.
Iban pasando por una BarraShow (prost�bulo) y le dice un compadre al otro:
“Oiga compa, tengo ganas de coger.”
En respuesta el otro le dice:
“Yo tambi�n, compadre. Pero no traigo dinero.”
A esto el otro le responde:
�Y qu� nos vamos a cobrar pues, compadre?