how do you drown a dumb blobde?
put a scrach-n-sniff sticker on the bottom of a swimming pool.
Author: admin
Artifical Insemination
Copulation without representation.
why is crow black?…
why is crow black?
b”
WHERE YOUR PAYCHECK GOES
Gross pay $1222.02
Income Tax 244.40
Outgo Tax 45.21
State Tax 11.61
Interstate Tax 61.10
County Tax 6.11
City Tax 12.22
Rural Tax 4.44
Back Tax 1.11
Front Tax 1.16
Side Tax 1.61
Up Tax 2.22
Down Tax 1.11
Tic-Tacs 1.98
Thumbtacks 3.93
Carpet Tacks 0.98
Stadium Tax 0.69
Flat Tax 8.32
Surtax 3.46
Ma’am Tax 2.60
Parking Fee 5.00
No Pkg Fine 10.00
F.I.C.A. 81.88
T.G.I.F. Fund 9.95
Life Ins. 5.85
Health Ins. 16.23
Disability 2.50
Ability 0.25
Liability Ins. 3.41
Dental Ins. 4.50
Mental Ins. 4.33
Reassurance 0.11
Coffee 6.85
Coffee Cups 66.51
Calendar 3.06
Floor Rental 16.85
Chair Rental 0.32
Desk Rental 4.32
Union Dues 5.85
Union Don’ts 3.77
Cash Advances 0.69
Cash Retreats 121.35
Overtime 1.26
Undertime 54.83
Eastern Time 9.00
Central Time 8.00
Mountain Time 7.00
Pacific Time 6.00
Bath Time 4.44
Time Out 12.21
Oxygen 10.02
Water 16.54
Heat 51.42
Air 46.83
Misc 144.38
Take Home Pay: $0.02
French Nude Statue
A French woman took her little daughter to the Louvre where they saw a statue of a nude male. “What is that?” asked the child pointing to the penis.
“Nothing, nothing at all, Cherie,” replied the mother.
“I want one,” said the child. The mother tried to focus her daughter’s attention on a more suitable subject, but the little girl persisted. “I want one just like that,” she kept repeating.
At last the mother said, “If you are a good girl and stop thinking about it now, when you grow up, you will have one.”
“And if I’m bad?” asked the little one.
“Then,” answered the mother, “You will have many.”
Steep
A man walked into a lawyer’s office and inquired about the lawyer’s rates.
“$50.00 for three questions,” replied the lawyer. “Isn’t that kind of steep?�
asked the man while dolling out the $50.00. “Yes,” answered the lawyer, “what’s
your third question?”
A quote on marriage
Ah Mozart! He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t. — Borge
Nightmares
Think about Marin Lother King Jr.
Why do all balcks have nightmares?
Because we killed the only one with a dream
Desert Island
A ship wrecks somewhere in the Pacific Ocean and the lone survior is washed up on a desert island. After surveying his surroundings he determines that the only other signs of life are one pig and one dog.
The man learns to live off of the island. He has fresh water from a spring and fruits grow abundantly. However, as the months go on, his sexual urges become stronger and stronger. Finally, in complete sexual hysteria, he grabs the pig and has his way with it. For some reason, however, the dog jumps up and bites him in the ass.
Weeks go by, and every day the man screws the pig and the dog bites him in the ass. One day, a beautiful young woman washes up on the shore. The man performs CPR and brings her back to life. She is so happy she says, “Thank you so much! I will give you anything you want!”
“Anything?” the man says.
“Anything.” the woman replies.
“OK,” he says, “will you hold the dog?”
Blonde vs. Ironing Board
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
A: An ironing board’s legs are harder to get open.
Tailors fit just right….
Tailors fit just right.
Standing In Line
This man comes to the Pearly Gates and is a little confused as to whereto report to God to get a determination on Heaven or Hell. He sees one sign that says: “For Women” and then notices a sign that says: “For Men.”
As he approaches the aisle for men, he sees one window with a sign: “For men who were dominated by women in life”. The line of men standing in that line was very long.
Then he saw another sign that said :”For men who dominated women.” He went to the second window and was the only one in the line.
At the window, God approached him and remarked, “Wow, I have not had a man stand in this line for over a hundred years – you must be a tough person.”
“Well no,” he replied, “My wife told me to stand here.”