Yours Fun Portal !
Entra un gam�n a un bus y se para al lado de un se�orita muy elegante y bien vestida.
La muchacha saca un perfume de su bolsa y comienza a aplic�rselo. El gam�n se le queda viendo fijamente sin perder ning�n detalle, hasta que ella molesta le dice:
“Perfume franc�s: 50 000 el frasco.”
Y el gamincito se tira un peo y le dice:
“Frijoles con arequipe: 500 lalibra.”
Q. What do you get when you have a woman having sex between two guys?
A. A tunafish sandwitch!
Knock KnockWho’s there?Wah!Wah who?Well you don’t have to get so excited about it!
:Silicon Valley Mottos: – – – – – – – – – – – -W I N N E RWhere quality is Job One-Point-One Maurice HerlihyH O N O R A B L E __M E N T I O N S”It Compiles. Ship It” Doug SheppardArtificial intelligence-when you just can’t get the real thing Nancy OttSleep is for the weak Robert ZazuetaI came, I saw, IPO Andy HalushkaGo Public or Perish John R. WodziakIf at first you don’t succeed, go for a second round Rex HillWhere the world comes to pay more for housing Dana SpradleyGive me your contract-hired, your poor-before, your not-so-subtle badasses Kimberly GreenSpinning sand into gold Sue ClarkLies, damned lies, and market caps Alex StrasheimSilicon Valley: commute, compute, commute David KenneyCome for the overtaxing work environment, stay for the unaffordable housing prices Richard KairisSilicon Valley: It happened here first, yesterday Kyri SparksThank you for holding. Our next available technical support representative will be with you shortly Kurt GrayGod bless the early adopters Eli NeiburgerGo public or get out of the way Jack LizmiUpgrade or perish Allan Ross KreuiterWe don’t just make your computer, we make your computer obsolete! Steve RocheSilicon Valley Population:110010101000101010010101000001110010101010101011 Karin Newton
One Day The President was out jogging without his guards.
All of a sudden a man with a ski mask jumped out from behind some bushes
with a gun.
The masked man said “Give me all your money!”
Unwilling to do so, the President said, “You can’t do this, I’m the
President!” The man then replied,…
“Oh, never mind then. Give me MY money!”
yo momma so stupid she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side!!!!
A Captain in the foreign legion was transferred to a desert outpost. On his orientation tour he noticed a very old, seedy looking camel tied out back of the enlisted men�s barracks. He asked the Sergeant leading the tour, “What’s the camel for?”.
The Sergeant replied “Well sir it’s a long way from anywhere, and the men have natural sexual urges, so when they do, uh, we have the camel.”
The captain said “Well if it’s good for moral, then I guess it’s all right with me.”
After he had been at the fort for about 6 months the captain could not stand it any more so he told his Sergeant, “BRING IN THE CAMEL!!!”
The sarge shrugged his shoulders and led the camel into the captains quarters.
The captain got a foot stool & proceeded to have vigorous sex with the camel. As he stepped, satisfied, down from the stool, and was buttoning his pants he asked the Sergeant, “Is that how the enlisted men do it?”
The Sergeant replied, “Well sir, they usually just use it to ride into town.”
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Marvin!
Marvin who?
Marvin I wonderful!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Mary!
Mary who?
Mary Christmas!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Mata!
Mata who?
Mata of life and death!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Matthew!
Matthew who?
Matthew is pinthing my foot!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Maura!
Maura who?
The Maura the merrier!
A blonde and a brunette were walking along the beach.
The brunette says “Gosh, look at all the dead seagulls!”
The blonde looks up in the sky and says,”Where?”
Knock KnockWho’s there?Clara!Clara who?Clara space on the table!
Do this example – its funny
Does Bill Gates have a problem we don’t know about?
1. Open a new document in MS-Word
2. Type “Unable to follow directions” (without the quotes)
3. Higlight the entire sentence you just typed
4. Click Tools; Language; Thesaurus (or hit shift-F7 to open the thesaurus)
If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?