A newlywed couple were looking for ways to make a few extra
bucks. They had thrown around a few ideas, but the husband
suggested that his wife do some prostitution. On that night he
let her out of the car and told her that if she needed anything,
he would be around the corner. He then tells her that she is to
charge no less than $100 for her services. He drives away and
parks around the corner. A car pulls up with a man asking for
service. She tells him that it will be $100. He digs around in
his wallet and pulls out $30. He then asks what he can get for
the money. She asks him to wait there for a minute and tells
him that she would be right back. She runs around the corner
and explains to her husband that she has a customer that only
has $30 and asks what she can give him for it. The husband
tells her that she can give the man a hand job. She runs back
to the car with the man anxiously waiting for her return, and
tells him that she will give him a hand job. She gets into the
car and begins unzipping his pants. To her amazement, she pulls
out a rather large penis. She then asks the guy to wait there
for just a second more. She runs back around the corner and asks
her husband “Can he borrow $70?”
Author: admin
The only cure for insomnia
The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”? Just “before” someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach? It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
Bra Sizes
Ever wonder why ABCDEF are used to define bra sizes?
A – Almost Boobs
B – Barely there
C – Can Do
D – Damn good
E – Enormous
F – Fake
The Irishman's W
An Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie. It says, �I will give you three wishes.� The man thinks awhile. Finally he says, �I want a beer that never is empty.� With that, the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer. The Irishman starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill. The genie asks about his next two wishes. The man says, �I want two more of these.�
Thanks giving
What would happen if the Pilgrims had killed cats instead of turkeys? We’d eat pussy every Thanksgiving.
Q: How many drummers
Q: How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: Two: one to hold the bulb, and one to turn his throne (but only after they figure out that you have to turn the bulb).
Medical Testing on Children
Two children were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying very loudly. 2nd Child: Why are you crying? 1st Child: I came here for blood test. 2nd Child: So? Are you afraid? 1st Child: No. Not that. For the blood test, they cut my finger. At this, the second one started crying. The first one was astonished. 1st Child: Why are you crying now? 2nd Child: I have come for my urine test
Knock KnockWho’s there?Isabella!Isabella who?Isabella out
Knock KnockWho’s there?Isabella!Isabella who?Isabella out of order!
A geologist’s song 03
The Marginal Basin Song by Chris Stillman(melody: Lead us on, thou Heavenly Father)On a margin runs a canyon down into the ocean dark; There’s a basin slowly filling with detritus from the arc. Refrain: For the drifting causes rifting, Opens basins mighty fine Which strike-slip will close in time. With volcanics there’s no problem; they’re erupting all the time; Fill the thin with pillow lavas, sheeted dikes and serpentine. Rising slowly from the ocean filled with gritties coarse and fine, Are you fore-arc? Are you anti-arc? Are you just a geosyncline?
Work Vs Prison
In Prison:You spend your time in an 8 x 10 cellAt Work:You spend your time in an 6 x 8 cubicleIn Prison:You get three free meals a dayAt Work:You get one break for a meal you pay forIn Prison:A guard locks and unlocks all doors for youAt Work:You carry a security card, you unlock the doorsIn Prison:You get to watch TV and play gamesAt Work:You get fired for watching TV and playing gamesIn Prison:You get your own toiletAt Work:You have to shareIn Prison:Family and friends are allowed to visitAt Work:You’re not allowed to speak to family or friendsIn Prison:Expenses are paid by taxpayers and work is not requiredAt Work:You pay to go to work and you get to deduct expenseson your taxes to pay for prisonersIn Prison:You look through the bars, hoping to get outAt Work:You want to get out so you can go inside the barsIn Prison:The wardens who are often called sadisticAt Work:The wardens are called managers
Roses are Red
Apples are red, Limons are sour open your legs and let me give you some power.
Rooster Replacement
A man was driving down a quiet country lane when out into the road strayed a rooster.
Whack! The rooster disappeared under the car in a cloud of feathers.
Shaken, the man pulled over at the farmhouse, rang the door bell.
A farmer appeared. The man, somewhat nervously said, “I think I killed your rooster, please allow me to replace him.”
“Suit yourself,” the farmer replied, “you can go join the other chickens that are around the back.”