Author: admin

There were these two guys that worked together, a black guy and a white
guy.

Every morning the black would come into work in a pissed-off mood, but the
white guy was always really happy and friendly to everyone.

Well one day the black decided to find out how the white guy managed to be
so happy day after day. He asked the white guy “Man, how do you stay so
damn happy all of the time?”

The white guy answered, “Well, every morning, I recite my wife a poem so I
can get laid before I come into work!”

The black says, “Hey, that’s a pretty good idea, man! What do you say?”

The white guy replies, “Well, this morning, I wrote her this poem: ‘Honey,
with your hair so blond and your eyes so blue, all I wanna do is make love
to you!'”

The black decides to try this with his wife.

The next morning, the black guy walks into work with a bloody lip, a broken
nose, and scratches all down his face!

The white guy asks him what happened.

The black guy says, “I tried reciting poetry to my wife like you do!”

The white guy asks “What the hell did you say to her?”

The black guy goes, “I said, ‘Honey, with your hair so nappy and your eyes like
a frog, bend your fat ass over, let me do ya like a dog!'”

mPor la tarde de un d�a de febrero y en un rec�ndito lugar de Transilvania hab�a un bar lleno de vampiros.

Se acerca un vampiro al mostrador del bar y pide un vaso de sangre.

“�Magn�fica!”, exclama gozoso.

A continuaci�n llega el mism�simo Conde Dr�cula. Se acerca a la barra:

“Camarero, por favor, s�rvame una botella de sangre de 1914 que fue una cosecha excelente.”

Le descorchan la botella y le sirven un poquito, “Pruebe, excelencia, �la encuentra de su agrado?”

“Exquisita, much�simas gracias.”

Transcurre un ratito y entra en el bar un vampiro ingl�s con mucha prisa.

“Please,please… �un vaso de agua caliente!”

“�Agua?… aqu� s�lo servimos sangre,” responde el camarero.

“Please,please… �un vaso de agua caliente!” insiste el vampiro ingl�s.

“S�rvele el agua, qu� le vamos a hacer, debe de ser abstemio,” comenta el Conde Dr�cula.

Le sirven el vaso de agua bien caliente y el vampiro se saca su cartera del bolsillo del pantal�n y extrae una compresa EVAX SUPERABSORBENTE ya usada, la introduce en el vaso de agua y se gira a los presentes indicando:

“�Qu� pasa. Acaso no puedo tomarme el t� de las cinco o qu�?”

1. El helic�ptero con asiento eyector.
2. La linterna con bater�a solar.
3. Un tel�fono para ciegos que en vez de timbre tiene una luz.
4. Las cerillas a prueba de fuego.
5. Las bolsas de t� impermeables.
6. Paraca�das con apertura por impacto.
7. Las puertas corredizas para submarinos.
8. La diana inflable para dardos.
9. Sillas de ruedas con pedales de acelerador y freno para parapl�jicos, para que tengan las manos libres.
10. Ventilador accionado por viento.
11. Recargador de bater�as que funciona con bater�as.
12. Aire acondicionado enfriado con el ambiente.
13. Refrigeradora para esquimales.
15. Ba�os de vapor para el desierto.
15. Un secador de pelo a prueba de agua, ahorre tiempo �selo mientras se ba�a.

This woman on the train had an ugly baby. I know an ugly baby when I see one. And I only glimpsed it. This fellow enters the coach. He’s half smashed. And he gets to the seat where the woman is with the baby …She heard him when he said to himself, “Damn!”She said, “What are you looking at?”The guy said, “I’m lookin’ at that ugly baby. That’s a bad-lookin’ baby, lady …”The woman took this as an offence. She pulls the emergency cord, the train stops, and the conductor comes in. The lady says, “This man just insulted me …”The conductor says, “Now calm down, lady. The railroad will go to any extent to avoid having differences with the passengers. Perhaps it would be to your convenience if we were to rearrange your seating. And as a small compensation from the railroad, if you’ll accompany me to the dining car, we’ll give you a free meal. And maybe we’ll find a banana for your monkey.”