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A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road.
As they pass each other the woman leans out of her window and yells,
‘PIG’.
The man immediately leans out his window and screams back,
‘BITCH’.
They continue on their way. As the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.
A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination.
On the paper there was a single line which simply said: “Is this a question?” – Discuss.
After a short time he wrote: “If that is a question, then this is an answer.”
The student received an “A” on the exam.
There was a father and his young son who lived in a secluded village somewhere in central Australia. The boy’s mother had left the father under difficult circumstances, and he had had bad experiences with women ever since. So he took his boy aside one day and told him, “Listen son, don’t go messing around with women, because, you know, down there, they’ve got teeth down there.”
The boy listened intently to his father’s advice. Years passed, the boy has grown up and his father has died, leaving him alone. So, one day, the boy ventures to the closest large town, where he goes to a club in search of companionship. He strikes up a conversation with a beautiful young girl. Things are going well, and they end up back at her place.
They are about to get into bed when the boy remembers his father’s advice and shys away.
“What’s wrong?” she asks. “Well, my father told me that women have teeth down there” replied the young man.
“Of course we haven’t got teeth down there!! Have a look if you like.”
So he takes her up on the offer. He takes off her panties, and he’s poking around, examining the lady’s most private parts. “Hmmmm. I don’t see any teeth down here, but you should see the state of your gums.”
What was the White House Chief of Staff’s reaction to Lewinsky’s story?
Now I know why they kept calling her the head intern!
Why do men like frozen microwave dinners so much?
They like being able to both eat and make love in under 5 minutes.
How Do You Sink a submarine full of blondes?
Knock on the door
On their first night together, a newlywed couple gets ready for
bed. The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all showered and
wearing a beautiful robe.
The proud husband says, “My dear, we are married now, you can
open your robe.” The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and
he is astonished with her beauty.
“Oh, oh, aaaahhh,” he exclaims, “My God you are so beautiful,
let me take your picture.” Puzzled she asks, “MY picture?” He
answers, “Yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to my
heart forever.”
She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into the
bathroom to shower. He comes out wearing his robe and the new
wife asks, “Why are you wearing a robe, we are married now.” The
man opens his robe and she exclaims, “oh, OH, OH MY, let me get
a picture”. He beams and asks, “Why?”
She answers, “SO I CAN GET IT ENLARGED”!
Se encuentran dos amigos:
�Te acuerdas del pedo que me tir� la otra noche cuando nos despedimos?”
“�Jolines, s� me acuerdo, fue algo tremendo!”
“Pues esta ma�ana me ha quitado el m�dico los puntos”.
Q: What’s the difference between a finance major and an economics major?
A: Opportunity cost.
During a recent vacation in Atlantic City, a couple went to see a popular magic show. After one especially amazing feat, a woman from the back of the theater yelled out, “Hey, how’d you do that?”
“I could tell you, madam”, the magician answered, “But then I’d have to kill you.”
After a short pause, she yelled back, “Ok, then… Just tell my husband!”
Q. What’s the definition of a lesbian?
A. A woman doing a man’s job better again!
Three boys are at school bragging of how great their fathers are.
The first one says: “Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow,
and start to run, I tell you, and he gets there before the arrow”.
The second one says: “Ha! You think that’s fast! My father is a hunter. He can
shoot his gun and be there before the bullet”.
The third one listens to the other two and shakes his head. He then says: “You
two know nothing about fast. My father works for the city. He stops working at
4:30 and he is home by 3:45″!!