Author: admin

With Viagra such a hit, a major drug company…

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With Viagra such a hit, a major drug company is bringing forth a whole
line of
drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in today’s
society….

Directra – a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on
car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when
they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent.

Projectra – Men given this experimental new drug were far more
likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting a
new one.

Childagra – Men taking this drug reported a sudden,
over-whelming urge to perform more child-care tasks – especially cleaning
up
spills and “little accidents.”

Complimentra – In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men
administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new
hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend
to noticing new clothing.

Buyagra – Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden
urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after
talking this drug for only two days. Still to be seen: whether the drug
can be continued for a period longer than your favorites store’s
return limit.

Nega-Viagra – Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra.
Currently undergoing clinical trials on sitting U.S. presidents.

Nega-Sportagra – This drug had the strange effect of making men
want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other
family members.

Flatulagra – This complex drug converts men’s noxious intestinal
gases back into food solids. Special bonus: Dosage can be
doubled for long car rides.

Flyagra – This drug has been showing great promise in treating
men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder). Expecially useful for men on
Viagra.

Pryagra – About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men
in the test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal
affairs of other people. Note: Apparent over-dose turned three test
subjects into “special prosecutors.”

Liagra – This drug causes men to be less than truthful when
being asked about their sexual affairs. Will be available Regular,
Grand Jury and Presidential Strength versions.

At the Bull acution.

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This couple goes to an agricultural show way out in the countryside a fine Sunday afternoon, and are watching the auctioning off of bulls.
The guy selling the bulls announces the first bull to be auctioned off:

“A fine specimen, this bull reproduced 60 times last year.”
The wife nudges her husband in the ribs, and comments,
“See! That was more than 5 times a month!”

The second bull is to be sold: “Another fine specimen, this wonder reproduced 120 times last year.”

Again the wife bugs her husband, “Hey, that’s some 10 times a month.
What do YOU say to that?!”

Her husband is getting really annoyed with this comparison.

The third bull is up for sale: “And this extraordinary specimen reproduced 360 times last year!”
The wife slaps her husband on the arm and yells,
“That’s once a day, every day of the year! How about YOU?!”

The husband was pretty irritated by now, and yells back, “Sure, once a day!
But ask the announcer if they were all with the same fat cow!!”

Dog in Heat

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A moron takes his dog for a walk. After awhile he gets thirsty so he ties his dog to a parking meter in front of a bar and goes in for a couple of beers. After he has been there for an hour or so the local policeman enters the bar.

“Whose dog is tied up out front?”

The moron responds, “That’s my dog. Is there a problem officer?”

“Well she’s in heat,” says the cop.”

“Oh, she’ll be all right. It’s shady out there.”

“That’s not what I mean. Your dog needs bred.”

“I gave her a half of a loaf this morning. She’s fine.”

At this point the policeman is becoming a little upset. “Listen fellow. You don’t seem to understand what I am talking about. That dog needs to be screwed.”

“Go right ahead officer, I’ve always wanted a police dog.”

Not Lost

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A farmer stood leaning on a fence at the edge of his property. He watched as a red sports car came over the top of a hill and followed the road up to the spot where he stood. The driver pulled over to the side of the road and called out to the farmer.

“Do you know how I can get to Route 91?” the driver asked.

The farmer thought for a few seconds. Then he said, “Nope.”

“Do you know where the nearest turnpike entrance is?” the driver asked.

“Nope.”

“How about the town of Hadley. Do you know which direction it is from here?”

“Nope.”

Exasperated, the driver raced his engine. “You don’t know very much, do you?” he said.

“Nope,” the farmer replied. “But I’m not lost.”

Alabama State Troope

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Two buddies were speeding through the great state of Alabama when to their surprise, out pops a state trooper and pulls them over. The state trooper approaches the driver side of the vehicle and taps on the window. The driver rows the window down. The state trooper smacks him on the back of the head and ask for license and registration. The trooper then proceeds to write him a ticket and has the driver sign it. But, just before leaving, the trooper walks around to the passenger side of the vehicle and taps on the window. The passenger rows the window and smack the trooper goes upside his head. The passenger says, “What was that for?” The trooper says, “Just making all your dreams come true!” The passenger confused and dazed says, what? Trooper replies, when you get down the road there a ways you’re going to say to your buddy,”I wish he would have tried that shit with me!”