What’s a birth control pill?
The other thing a woman can put in her mouth to keep from getting pregnant!
Author: admin
Types of computer viruses
Richard Nixon virus: Also known as the “Tricky Dick Virus”, you can wipe it out but it always makes a comeback.
Moving to Berlin
Michael Jackson says he wants to move to Berlin.
As soon as the Germans heard about it they started to put the wall back up.
Ventriloquist
One day, a ventriloquist was in a club telling jokes about
blondes. The man and his dummy had the crowd cracking up. Out of
the crowd came a blonde who was pretty upset. She said to the
man, “You had better stop telling jokes about us blondes because
it’s offensive.”
The ventriloquist said, “Ma’am they’re only jokes, I don’t mean
anything by them.”
The blonde said, “I’m not talking to you, I’m talking to the
little man on your leg.”
The head of NASA
The head of NASA runs into Bill Clinton’s office with exciting news.”Mr.
President…Mr. President…We have found intelligent life on Mars”.
The President obviously enjoys the news and says,� Intelligent yaw say. Well,
I reckon I want to go up there and have a look see. a reckon their women are
smart enough to have a dress cleaned?”
Pulled Over
A cop pulls over a car that’s been swerving across the lanes of a road.”Get out of the car, please.””But I’m not drunk, officer!””Listen, it doesn’t matter if you’re drunk or not. If you don’t get out of this car, I’ll arrest you anyway.””Fine,” says the man and gets out of the car.”Okay, now walk this yellow line.”The man looks at the line.”Which one of them do I walk on?”
Woman asks husband for space
i bought my wife a rocket for christmas “she says what the fuck do i want with a rocket”husband replies”well you wanted space now fuck off”
Why don’t Polish workers get
Why don’t Polish workers get a lunch break?
Because they’d have to retrain afterwards.
Druggie Song
Sung to the tune of the Irish Washerwoman:
Para-dimethyl-amino-benzaldahide,
powdered aluminum, sodium cyanide,
chromates, permanganates, nitrates galore;
just swallow one sip and you’ll never need more.
Tequila and wiskey and rum are too tame.
Oh, the stuff that I drink must explode into flame.
When I breathe I dissolve all the paint in the room,
and shatter the walls with an earth-shaking boom.
Got gassed up last night on some furfural alcohol.
Followed it up with a gallon of propanol.
Tanked up on hydrozene ’til afternoon,
then spat on the floor and blew up the saloon!
Para-dimethyl-amino-benzaldahide;
go soak your head in a good, strong insectacide.
Follow it up with a dose of benzene,
and top off the tank with tri-chloro-ethene.
I’ve lost my dad
A small boy was crying his eyes out at a football match. Seeing his plight, a
policeman came up to him and asked what the problem was.
“I’ve lost my dad,” cried the boy. “What’s he like?” asked the policeman.
“Beer, fags and women,” said the boy.
IDIOTS & COMPUTERS
My neighbour works in the operations department in the central office of a
large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their
computers. One night they got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who
had this question: ‘I’ve got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you
guys have a fire downtown?’
Endless hours of testimony on congressional hill.
“I’d rather have them sacrificing on behalf of our nation than, you know,
endless hours of testimony on congressional hill.” �George W. Bush, Fort Meade,
Maryland, June 4, 2002