Random

your mamma has one big tittie and one small tittie and they call the bitch biggie smalls

your mamma so ugly the shot gorrilliaz in the mist in ther shower

your mamma so fat her nikename is DAY-UM!

your mamma so fat whene i was having sex with
here i rolled over 9 times and i was still on the bitch

1. Asm�tica: �Uhh…uhhh…uhhh! 2.

1. Asm�tica: �Uhh…uhhh…uhhh!
2. Geogr�fica: �Aqu�, aqu�, aqu�, aqu�!
3. Matem�tica: �M�s, m�s, m�s, m�s!
4. Religiosa: �Ay Dios m�o, ay Dios m�o!
5. Suicida: �Me muero, me muero!
6 Homicida: Si paras ahora, �Te mato!
7. Zootecnista: �Venga mi macho, venga!
8. Porrista: �Dale…dale…dale!
9. Profesora de ingl�s: Oh… yes, oh…good…
10. Tipo Proyecto Uno: �No pares! �Sigue, sigue!…�No pares! �Sigue, sigue!
11. Negativa: �Nooo, noooo!
12. Positiva: �S�…s�…s�!
13. Profesora: S�…eso…por ah�…muy bien…correcto… perfecto.
14. Desinformada: �Qu� es esto?… �Por qu�?… �Qu� me haces?
15. Analista de sistemas: OK. El proceso ha finalizado con �xito.
16. Clarividente: Lo siento venir… ya casi viene… lo veo, lo veo.

3 Wishes

A rabbit and a bear were walking thru the woods when they saw a magic lamp. They ran up to it and the genie came out.
�I�ll grant u 3 wishes each for freeing me. The bear can start,� said the genie
�I wish every bear in the entire forest, except me, was a female!� said the bear.
�Wish granted,� said the genie. And then the rabbit took his turn.
�I wish I had a motorcycle that could go faster then anything in the world� said the rabbit.
�Wish granted,� said the genie. And a shiny new motorcycle stood in front of the rabbit.
�Ok,� said the bear, �I wish every bear in the country, except for me, was a female!�
�Wish granted,� said the genie.
�I wish had, �said the rabbit, �a motorcycle helmet�
�Wish granted,� said the genie and a new helmet appeared on the ground in front of the rabbit.
�For my last wish,� said the bear, �I wish every bear on the planet, except for me, was a female!!�
�Wish granted,� said the genie. The bear was very excited now.
�I wish,� said the rabbit. He mounted his motorcycle. And he buckled his helmet. He revved his motorcycle. �I wish,� said the rabbit, as he kicked back the peg, �I wish the bear was gay!!�
Vroooooooooooooooooooooooomm!

Marriage Quotes 5

Love, you can’t start it like a car, you can’t stop it with a gun. – George Bernard Shaw

One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: “Give little, give seldom, and above all, give grudgingly.” Otherwise, what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of sexual lust. – Ruth Smythers, Marriage advice for women, 1894

I’d like to get married because I like the idea of a man being required by law to sleep with me every night. – Carrie Snow

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher…and that is a good thing for any man. – Socrates

Marriage: A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the gentleman. – Herbert Spencer

Someone once asked me why women don’t gamble as much as men do and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don’t have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women’s total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage. – Gloria Steinem

If you meet somebody who tells you that he loves you more than anybody in the whole wide world, don’t trust him. It means he experiments. A life without love in it is like a heap of ashes upon a deserted hearth; with the fire dead, the laughter stilled, and the light extinguished. – Frank P. Tebbetts

At American weddings, the quality of food is inversely proportional to the social position of the bride and the groom. – Calvin Trillin

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. – Lana Turner

I do not see the EEC as a great love affair. It is more like nine desperate middle-aged couples with failing marriages meeting at a Brussels hotel for a group grope. – Tynan

The first time you buy a house, you see how pretty the paint is and buy it. The second time, you look to see if the basement has termites. It’s the same with husbands. – Lupe Valez

Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly. – Voltaire

Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution. – Mae West

Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others. – Oscar Wilde

Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other’s character before marriage, which is never advisable. – Oscar Wilde

Why are women so much more interesting to men than men are to women? – Virginia Woolf

Padre e hija se dirigen

Padre e hija se dirigen a la escuela; de pronto, la ni�a pregunta:

“Pap�, �qu� le pasa a ese caballo?”

El padre mira hacia el caballo y al percatarse que el caballo tiene una erecci�n, le dice a su hija:

“No mires a ese caballo porque est� enfermo”.

Al d�a siguiente:

“Pap�, el caballo sigue enfermo”.

“Si, hija, no lo mires que todav�a est� enfermo”.

Al tercer d�a, la ni�a es llevada a la escuela por su madre.

“Mam�, no mires ese caballo porque est� enfermo”.

La madre, curiosa, mira el caballo y le pregunta a la hija:

“�Qui�n te dijo que ese caballo estaba enfermo?”

“Pap� me lo dijo”.

“�Ay, hija, ya quisiera tu padre tener la mitad de la salud que tiene ese caballo!”