On the keyboard of life always keep one finger on the “escape” key.
Joke found on http://www.randomjoke.com
Author: admin
The AOL Car
1. The AOL car would have a TOP speed of 40 MPH yet have a 200 MPH speedometer.
2. The AOL car would come equipped with a NEW and fantastic 8-Track tape player.
3. The car would often refuse to start and owners would just expect this and try again later.
4. The windshield would have an extra dark tint to protect the driver from seeing better cars.
5. AOL would sell the same model car year after year and claim it’s the NEW model.
6. Every now and then the brakes on the AOL car would just “lock-up” for no apparent reason.
7. The AOL car would have a very plain body style but would have lots’a pretty colors and lights.
8. The AOL car would have only one door but it would have 5 extra seats for family members.
9. Anyone dissatisfied could return the car but must continue to make payments for 6 months.
10. If an AOL car owner received 3 parking tickets AOL would take the car off of them.
11. The AOL car would have an AOL Cell phone that can only place calls to other AOL car cell phones.
12. AOL would pass a new car law forbidding AOL car owners from driving near other car dealerships.
13. AOL car mechanics would have no experience in car repair.
14. Younger AOL car drivers would be able to make other peoples AOL cars stall just for fun.
15. It would not be possible to upgrade your AOL car stereo.
16. AOL cars would be forced to use AOL gas that cost 20% more and gave worse mileage.
17. Anytime an AOL car owner saw another AOL car owner he would wonder, M/F/age?
18. It would be common for AOL car owners to divorce just to marry another AOL car owner.
19. AOL car owners would always claim to be older or younger than they really are.
20. AOL cars would come with a steering wheel and AOL would claim no other cars have them.
21. Every time you close the door on the AOL car it would say, “Good-Bye.”
Star trek
Q: Why aren’t there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
A: Because they’re not going to work in the future, either.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci
Blonde premonition
A blonde and a brunette are walking down the street, all of a sudden the blond sees banana peels a few feet from her, She says, “Oh, darn, I’m gonna fall again!”
Yankee Hater 1
Q: What has 400 feet and 3 teeth?
A: The first row of the bleachers at Yankee Stadium.
Why did the blonde k
Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat? A: In case she locks the keys in her car.
Boss and his wife
Guy leaves the bar, hoping he can get home early enough not to piss his wife
off for drinking after work. He gets home and finds his boss in bed with his
wife.
Later, back at the bar, the guy tells the bartender the story, “Wow, that’s
awful, what did you do?”
“Well, I carefully snuck back out the door, and hightailed it back here,
shoot, they we’re just getting started, so I figure, I got time for a couple
more beers.”
Un d�a Pepito se presenta
Un d�a Pepito se presenta con su mam� mal herido, y su mam� le dice:
“�Pepito! �Qu� te pas�?”
“Es que iba en la bicicleta a toda velocidad y tropec� con una piedra.”
“�Pepito, t� no tienes bicicleta!”
“�Ah…! Fue con los patines, iba a toda velocidad y tropec� con una piedra”.
“�Pepito, t� no tienes patines!”
“�Bueno! �Ultimadamente, el gato es m�o y me lo cojo cuando yo quiera!”
Blonde and Father Christmas
There is a blonde, smart blonde and father christmas stood on a cliff.They can’t decide who should jump off first, so they all do it together.
Which one lands first???
A. The blonde because the other two don’t exsist.
Return to power
They’re getting closer and closer to the trial for Saddam Hussein and, according to his prison guards hanging around Saddam Hussein, say he’s hooked on Cheetos and Doritos. … Kind of a strange picture, sitting around in his underwear eating Doritos, dreaming of the day he can return to power… oh wait that’s Al Gore.
-David Letterman
The Big Shake-up!
A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO.
This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall.
The room is full of workers and he thinks this is his chance to show everyone he means business!
The CEO, walks up the guy and asks – “and how much money do you make a week?”
Undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replies, “I make $200.00 a week. Why?”
The CEO then hands the guy $200 in cash and screams – “here’s a week’s pay, now GET OUT and don’t come back!”
Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks – “does anyone want to tell me what that slacker did here?”
With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters –
“Pizza delivery guy”.
By doing just a little
By doing just a little every day,
I can gradually let the task completely overwhelm me.
-Ashleigh Brilliant