Author: admin

You stink so bad you make Right Guard turn left, Speed Stick slow down, Secret
obvious, and Sure confused.

In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge, mean bear. In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful. Finally, he turned and ran as fast as he could.

The hunter ran and ran and ran, his lungs burned for lack of oxygen, his heart pounding so hard he felt like it would burst out of his chest. Then suddenly, he ended up at the edge of a very steep cliff. His hopes were dim. Seeing no way out of his predicament, and with the bear closing in rather quickly, the hunter got down on his knees, opened his arms, and exclaimed, “Dear Lord! Please give this bear some religion!”

The skies darkened, and there was lightning in the air. Just a few feet short of the hunter, the bear came to abrupt stop, and glanced around, somewhat confused.

Suddenly, the bear looked up into the sky, kneeled and said,
“Thank you, Lord, for this food I’m about to receive…”

Un hombre entra a un bar y se sienta; en ese momento ve que llega un negro y se lleva a un tipo que estaba dormido a causa de la embriaguez. Intrigado, el reci�n llegado le pregunta al mesero:

��Por qu� ese negro se llev� a ese tipo?�

�Ese negro se lleva a todos los que se quedan dormidos y se los tira�.

��Qu� bueno que me avisa, no deje que me quede dormido!�

Confiado, el fulano comienza a beber, uno tras otro, hasta que se da cuenta de que est� cabeceando y decide pararle. De pronto, cuando despierta ve que se encuentra sobre los hombros del negro; asustado comienza a gritar:

��Ah, no, negro de mierda, a m� no me llevas!�

��C�llate, est�pido, que no te llevo te traigo!�

16> You’re surprised and delighted to hear perfect, accent-free
English.

15> Your Happy Meal now comes with total enlightenment.

14> “Would you prefer steamed monkey brains or fried blubber
with that?”

13> The order-taker asks if you want fries and to help his
foreign minister move $30 million out of his country.

12> “This is K!gxg — can I take your order, unsuspecting
earthling?”

11> The McNuggets come in a little cardboard doghouse.

10> The bad news: Your drunken gibberish netted you an order of
French *flies*.
    The good news: It didn’t matter because
you were drunk.

 9> “Hold on, Honey… um, Miss Cleo predicts you’d
like to super-size that order.”

 8> “Vait!  Don’t disobey!  You VILL
super-size it!!”

 7> Ordered: Coke, burger and fries.
    Delivered: Goat liver and rice.

 6> “Would you like fries with that, overfed
war-mongering imperialist pig-dog?”

 5> Man, the sandwich order from that new deli is
taking FOREVER!

 4> Your Big Yak with extra cheese won’t fit in the car.

 3> “No, no, no, sir.  I am so sorry, but I
cannot allow you to partake of a sacred cow.  Vishnu would be
very displeased Please try the fish.”

 2> “… and your total comes to the annual income of
my entire village, Mr. Greedy American.”

 1> Two no-beef patties, curry sauce, lentils, curd,
chutney, saffron on a cardamom-seed naan.

            
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