There are thousands of sex phone lines for men but only a few for
women. This is because if a women wants someone to talk dirty to her
she can just go to work.
Author: admin
Music lessons
Music student: Did you really learn to play the violin in six easy lessons?
Music teacher: Yes, but the 500 that followed were pretty difficult!!
Blonde Sweet-n-low riddle
Q. Why did the blonde snort Sweet-n-Low?A. She thought it was Diet Coke.
17 Facts of Life
1. Psychiatrists say that one of four people are mentally ill. Check three friends. If they’re OK, you’re it.
2. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.
3. Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
4. A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
5. It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
6. Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
7. If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book. If you are given a take-home test, you will forget where you live.
8. The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
9. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
10. Paul’s Law: You can’t fall off the floor.
11. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
12. Paranoids are people, too; they have their own problems. It’s easy to criticize, but if everybody hated you, you’d be paranoid, too.
13. A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell and make you feel happy to be on your way.
14. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
15. Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can’t find them.
16. Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
17. A .44 Magnum beats four aces.
Suck it in, mirror!
Once there was a mirror that sucked people into it if they lied. So this brunette walked up to it and said, “I think I am the most beautiful person in the whole world . . .” and it sucked her in. Then a redhead walked up to it and said, “I think I am the most wonderful person in the whole world . . .” and it sucked her in too. Then a blonde walked up to it and said, “I think . . ” and it sucked her in.
What’s the definition of an Arkansas Virgin?…
What’s the definition of an Arkansas Virgin?
A girl that can run faster than the Governor.
Un tipo conoci� a una
Un tipo conoci� a una hermosa dama a trav�s del Internet y decidi� casarse con ella en ese preciso instante.
Ella le contest�: “�Pero si no sabemos nada de nosotros!”
�l le escribi�: “No hay problema, nos conoceremos sobre la marcha”.
La chica estuvo de acuerdo, se casaron, y se fueron de luna de miel a un lujoso hotel.
Una ma�ana, estaban ambos recostados junto a la piscina. El hombre se levanta, sube al trampol�n de 10 metros y realiza una perfecta demostraci�n de todos los estilos de clavados que existen. Luego regres� y volvi� a recostarse junto a su esposa.
��Eso fue incre�ble!�, exclama la mujer.
�Fui campe�n ol�mpico de clavados. Te dije que nos conocer�amos bien sobre la marcha�.
En eso, la joven se levanta, entra a la piscina y comienza a nadar a lo largo, de ida y de regreso. Despu�s de treinta vueltas, sale y se recuesta junto a su marido.
��Asombroso! �Fuiste nadadora ol�mpica de resistencia?�
�No, yo era prostituta a domicilio en Venecia�.
Bobbitt Differences
What’s the difference between John and Lorena Bobbitt? She’s crazy and he’s just nuts!
Virgin wedding
Concerned about her relationship, a woman approaches her doctor and says, “Doc, I’m getting married this weekend and my fiancee thinks I’m a virgin. Is there anything you can do to help me?” The doctor says, “Medically, no, but here’s something you can try. On the wedding night, when you’re getting ready for bed, take an elastic band and slide it to your upper thigh. When your husband puts it in, snap the elastic band and tell him it’s your virginity snapping.” The woman loves this idea and knows her hubby to be will fall for this. They have a beautiful wedding and retire to the honeymoon suite. The wife gets ready for bed in the bathroom, slips the elastic band up her leg, finishes preparing and climbs into bed with her man. Things begin to progress, her hubby “slips it in” and she snaps the elastic band. The hubby asks, “What the heck was that? The wife explains, “Oh nothing honey, that was just my virginity snapping.” The husband cries out, “Well snap it again, it’s got my balls!”
When blondes do puzzles
A bunch of blondes walk into a restaurant celebrating and chanting “28 days, 28 days, it only took us 28 days!!”
Everyone was wondering what took them 28 days and why they were celebrating. Finally, when the blondes were about to leave, a waitor goes up and asks “What took you 28 days, why are you celebrating??”
All the blondes say “We just finished a puzzle in 28 days and on the box it said 3-6 years!!!”
Knock KnockWho’s there?Xenia!Xenia who?Xenia stealing
Knock KnockWho’s there?Xenia!Xenia who?Xenia stealing my sweets!
Another light bulb…
Q: How many Republicans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It’s irrelevant; they still don’t accept the fact that they’re in the dark!