Author: admin

Una se�ora, ya setentona, visita al doctor, y al llegar le platica todos sus males:

“Ay doctor, me duele todo el cuerpo y no s� que me pasa”.

“A ver se�ora si�ntese aqu�, con cuidado, y qu�tese la ropa, la voy a revisar”.

“Ay si doctor, porque f�jese que ya no aguanto. �Ojal� que pueda curarme!”

“Ya, ya, silencio. Lo �nico que va a hacer, es decir 33 cada vez que le ponga el estetoscopio en un lugar diferente �entendido?”

“S� doctor”.

Entonces, el doctor comienza a auscultarla con el estetoscopio empezando desde la nuca.

“A ver diga 33”, le pide el m�dico.

“33”, repite la se�ora.

Y as�, contin�a el facultativo, hasta que llega a la parte m�s �ntima de la se�ora: “A ver diga 33”.

Y la se�ora comienza a decir: “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6…”

Two old guys were fishing in a boat on Lake Michigan. A bottle comes floating by in the current. One codger scoops it up, sees a cork in the top, and yanks it out.

A genie pops out in a puff of smoke and says, “You get one wish between the two of you–make it a good one.”

The old man in the front of the boat yells back to his fishing buddy. “Lemme handle this–I know just what to ask for!”

He looks at the genie and says, “We want the whole lake to be turned into ice cold beer!” The genie nods and says, “You got it, boys!”

And instantaneously, the whole lake is beer!

The old man in the back of the boat throws a life preserver, smacks his buddy up-side the head, and yells out, “You idiot! Why the heck did you do that?”

“”Whadaya talking about?” the other fisherman answers. “I thought you’d like a lake-full of beer. What’s the problem?”

“I do like it…but the problem is…now we gotta piss in the boat!!!!”

one day a guy opened a bar and didnt now what to name it so when three guys went up and decided to order a drink he said i will give one of you free drinks to come up with a name for my bar, one guy said bobs big bar..the bartender said no..another guy said how about big bobs bar he said no then the third guy said how about lucys legs…the bartender said Perfect! so one day the guy that came up with that name was sitting on the side of a curb out front of the bar when a police man came by. he asked what the man was doing. the man said he was waiting for lucys legs to open up because he was thirsty.

You are so poor . . .
When you were kicking a can, your friend came by and asked what you were doing. You said you were moving!

The British Isles, it is said, are inhabited by four nations.

The Scots, who keep the Sabbath, and everything else they can lay
their hands on.
The Welsh, who pray upon their knees and upon their neighbours.
The Irish, who don’t know what they want, but are willing to die for it.

And the English, who, considering themselves a race of self-made men,
thereby relieve the Almighty of a dreadful responsibility.