Author: admin

Alright, Stupid Office Tricks 2004. Let us know your scores. NO CHEATING. CONTACT US with detailed scoring. We will post the highest scores and comments on the main page in a few weeks. Good Luck!

One-Point Gags

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� Ignore the first five people who say ‘good morning’ to you.

� In the middle of a meeting, suddenly shout out “Yahtzee!”

� Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, “Sorry, I really prefer it this way.”

� Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, “Just called to say I can’t talk right now. Bye.”

� Run one lap around the office at top speed.

� To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

� Walk sideways to the photocopier.

� When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, “Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!”

� While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

Three-Point Gags

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� Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, “Did you get all that, I don’t want to have to repeat it.”

� Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a ‘non-player’ within sight).

� Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).

� Say to your boss, “I like your style” and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.

� Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

Five-Point Gags

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� After every sentence, say ‘mon’ in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in, “The report’s on your desk, mon”. Keep this up for one hour.

� Announce to everyone in a meeting that you “really have to go do number two.”

� At lunch time get down on your knees and announce “As God as my witness, I’ll never go hungry again.”

� At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra 3 points if you actually launch into it yourself).

� Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, “Ya wanna trade?”

� Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, “I can’t talk about it.”

� Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

� For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as ‘Bob’.

� Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

� In a colleagues diary, write in 10:00 am “See how I look in tights.”

� In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, “Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!”

� Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person:

“Do you hear that?”

“What?”

“Never mind, it’s gone now”

� Tuck one pant leg into your sock and when queried, answer, “not now” and walk away.

� Walk into a very busy person’s office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

� While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.

� While talking to a colleague, pick your nose.

An old cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail. The cowboy then moved slowly to the back of his horse, lifted its tail, and placed a big kiss where the sun don’t shine. He dropped the horse’s tail, stepped up on the walk and aimed toward the swinging doors of the saloon.”Hold on there, Mister,” said the sheriff.”Did I just see what I think I saw?””Reckon you did, Sheriff. I got me some powerful chapped lips.” “And that cures them?” the Sheriff asked. “Nope, but it keeps me from lickin’ ’em.”

Ways To Spice Up Life At The Office

* Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.

* Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after you boss does. (Note: This is especially effective if your boss is of a different gender than you.)

* Make up nicknames for all your co-workers and refer to them only by these names. “That’s a good point, Sparky. No, I�m sorry, but I’m going to have to disagree with you there, Cha-Cha”

* Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them exactly what you�re doing. For example: If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the bathroom.

* Hi-Lite your shoes. Tell people you haven�t lost them as much since you did this. While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive liquid. Call everyone Marge.

* Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle.

* When you emerge to get coffee or a printout or whatever, slap yourself randomly the whole way.

* Put a chair facing a printer. Sit there all day and tell people you’re waiting for your document.

* Every time someone asks you to do something, anything, ask them if they want fries with that.

* Send e-mails back and forth to yourself engaging yourself in an intellectual debate.

* Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.

* Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair-dancing.

* Put your trashcan on your desk. Label it IN.

* Feign an unnatural and hysterical fear of staplers.

* Send e-mail messages saying there�s free pizza or donuts or cake in the lunchroom. When people drift back to work complaining that they found none, lean back, pat your stomach and say, “Oh you’ve got to be faster than that!”

* Put decaf in the coffeemaker for three weeks. Once everyone has withdrawn from caffeine addiction, switch to espresso!

Este era un chamo que vend�a chupetas de cuca a todo grito:

“�Chupeta e cuca! �Chupeta e cuca!”

Un muchacho escucha y le parece una muy buena oferta.

“�Cu�nto valen?”

“50 Bs.”

“Ah, dame una entonces”.

Pero cuando la prueba, le reclama:

“�Pero esto sabe a culo!”

“�Volt�ala, est�pido!”