why didnt the skeleton cross the road? he didnt have the guts to.
Author: admin
Rubber Buns and Liquor
A classic schoolyard joke where you say rubber buns and liquor after everything I say,what did u have for breakfast? rubber buns and liquorwhat did u have for lunch? rubber buns and liquorwhat did u have for dinner? rubber buns and liquorwhat are you going to do tonight? rubber buns and liquor (rub her buns and lick her)
Open wider
There was a couple going at it for the first time, and after a while, the guy asks the woman to open her legs a little wider.
She does and they continue.
A few minutes go by and he tells her again, “Open your legs a little wider.”
She does, then he says again, “A little wider, hon.”
The woman starts getting pissed off but she does it.
This continues until he asks again, “Can you open them just a little wider?”
So she finally yells, “What are you trying to do; get your balls in too?”
He says “No, I’m trying to get them out.”
Submitted by ���rt��
Edited by yisman
Guesse wat that is
what is pink, red and black?
dead baby in a corner.
what is green, brown and black?
same baby ten weeks later.
Abortion
Exams in an agricultural institute. Professor tells a student:
“Well, I see that you don’t know anything. But you have a last chance. Answer
the question: is it possible to make abortion to a cow? Go prepare yourself.”
The student doesn’t know the right answer. He runs out to corridor and sees a
drunk hippie sitting at the wall. The student feverishly asks the hippy:
“Please, come on, tell me, is it possible to make abortion to a cow?”
The hippie looks at him and thoughtfully says:
“Well, guy, I see you are in troubles…”
The girl how says lives in a sematerie
Their was once a man in a car that was driving on the road and their was girl getting herselef wet so then the man stoped the car a tolg if she wanted to get on the so that she would not get more wet. so then she got on the car and the man asked her where she livied and she said well i live right here in the sematerie and the man was scared. but then the teenager said no just kidding i livein town. so she was tring to scare him.
What do you call a
What do you call a white man with a black man?
– A lawyer.
What do you call a white man with three black men?
– A victim.
What do you call a white man with five black men?
– A coach.
What do you call a white man with two hundred black men?
– A warden.
What do you call a white man surrounded by 30,000 black men?
– Postmaster General.
Redneck childhood
When I was young and I had no sense
stuck my peter in a letric fence
curled my hair, tickled my toes, made me do in my underdrawers!
Home for Lunch
At an art exhibition two women were staring at a painting entitled, “Home for
Lunch.” The painting was of three very naked, and very black men, sitting on a
park bench. What was unusual was that the men on both ends of the bench had
black penises, but the man in the middle had a very pink penis. The two women
were standing there, staring at the picture, scratching their heads and trying
to figure this out.
The artist walked by and noticed the women’s confusion. “Can I help you with
this painting?” he asked.
“Well, yes” said the one woman. “We were curious about the picture of the
African-Americans on the bench. Why does the man in the middle have a pink
penis?”
“Oh,” said the artist. “I’m afraid you’ve misunderstood the painting.
The three men are not African-Americans, they are coal miners, and the fellow in
the middle went “Home for Lunch”.
Chutzpa
A little old lady gets onto a crowded bus and stands in front of a seated
young girl. Holding her hand to her chest, she says to the girl, “If you
knew what I have, you would give me your seat.” The girl gets up and gives
up the seat.
The girl then takes out a fan and fans herself. The woman looks up and
says, “If you knew what I have, you would give me that fan.” The girl
gives her the fan.
Fifteen minutes later the woman gets up and says to the bus driver, “Stop,
I want to get off here.” The bus driver tells her he has to drop her at
the next corner, not in the middle of the block. Her hand across her
chest, she tells the driver, “If you knew what I have, you would let me
out here.” The bus driver pulls over and opens the door to let her out.
As she’s walking out of the bus, he asks, “Madam, what is it you have? “
“Chutzpah,” she replies.
Knock KnockWho’s there?Tex!Tex who?Tex two
Knock KnockWho’s there?Tex!Tex who?Tex two to tango!
Being an egg
If you think life is bad now, how would you like to be an egg?
You only get laid once.
You get eaten only once, too.
It takes four minutes to get hard, and only two minutes to get soft.
You share your box with 11 other guys, but worst of all, the only chick that ever sat on your face was your mom!
So cheer up, your life isn’t that bad!
Submitted by Admin
Edited by Calamjo