Q: What is the role of sinners?
A: Sinners are the people who find new and imaginative ways to mess up the
system when God has made it idiot-proof.
Author: admin
Yo Mamma
Your mom is fat that when the cop tried to stop her they said, “Spilt up.”
Two dogs in a vets
a great dane and an alsation are with their masters in the waiting room at the local vets.
the great dane decides to strike up a conversation and ask the alsation what he’s in for.
well said the alsation,its a long story but it goes something like this-i was napping on the landing when the masters wife came out of the bathroom,stark naked and dripping wet,she bent over to pick a towel up and i could’nt resist,i was up there like a shot,fucking her like she’d never been fucked before,so the masters bought me in to be put down,what about you?
The 5 P’s : Preparation
The 5 P’s : Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance
Una hermosa noche de diciembre,
Una hermosa noche de diciembre, en una de las bellas playas de Puerto Rico, estaba una pareja de novios, muy acaramelados, mirando el mar cuando, en eso, �l le dice a ella:
“Chica, d�jame tocarte el wiwichu”.
“�Est�s loco, mi negro! �C�mo crees?”
“Anda, chica, qu� no ves que es el tiempo perfecto. �D�jame tocarte el wiwichu!”
“�No, no te lo permitir�!”
“Anda, chica, es ahora o nunca, deja que te toque el wiwichu…”
“Bueno, mi amor, t�calo porque te quiero mucho”.
Entonces el muchacho agarra su guitarra y prosigue:
“�Wiwichu a merry Christmas, wiwichu a merry Christmas, wiwichu a merry Christmas and a japy niu yir!
English class
Little Bubba was in English class when the teacher asked him to use the word “European” in a sentence.
After thinking quite some time, Little Bubba responded, “After recess, I went to the boy’s room and told Little Billy Bob, ‘Watch what yer doin, yore a peein’ on my new boots.'”
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Tantilazing
Miscellaneous yo mama joke
It took yo mama 10 tries to get her drivers license, she couldnt get used to the front seat!
FAMILY STRESS TEST
How to score: 0 if the statement is never true, 1 if it is rarely true, 2 if
it is sometimes true, and 3 if it is always true.
1. ___ Conversations often begin with “Put the gun down, and then “we can
talk.”
2. ___ the school principal has your number on speed-dial.
3. ___ the cat is on Valium.
4. ___ People have trouble understanding your kids, because they learned to
speak through clenched teeth.
5. ___ you are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaf.
6. ___ the number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the number of
people in the family.
7. ___ No one has time to wait for microwave TV dinners.
8. ___ “Family meetings” are often mediated by law enforcement officials.
9. ___ you have to check your kid’s day-planner to see if he can take out the
trash.
10.___ No-Doze gives you bulk rates.
How you rate:
30 – A perfect score. Welcome to the neighborhood!
20-29 – You are doing reasonably well, but still have too little going on in
your life. Crank it up.
10-19 – You have mastered some of the aspects of the stress-filled life, but
still have a long way to go. Have you considered a parallel career path?
0- 9 – Enjoying all that extra time? What do you do anyway?
The Top 15 Video Games We’d Like to See
15> Petty Theft: Yugo
14> ‘Roid Rage: Proctologist’s Revenge
13> Where in the World Are Carmen’s Weapons of Mass Destruction?
12> Extreme Shuffleboard 2003!
11> Brut Force: The Co-Worker’s Cologne
10> Blogger
9> Stone Cold’s SCRABBLE Smackdown!
8> Zero West Wing: All Your Civil Rights Are Belong to Us
7> Chronic the Hemphog
6> Stargeezers II: Arthriticon vs. Metamuciloid
5> Panty Raider: Lara Croft’s Cancun Holiday
4> Honkey Thong
3> Tom Clancy’s Rational, Lengthy, Polite Diplomacy
2> Grand Theft Buggy: Amish Country
1> Sim Playing-Outside-Like-a-Normal-Kid
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]
A little girl named Mary
A little girl named Mary is called Virgin Mary by her mother. This is a skit.Virgin Mary: Mom, can I go play over Jonny’s house?Mother: Sure honey, but be back before dinnertime. ( Mary Leaves ) Dinnertime Rolls Around, and Mary Calls her mother from Jonny’s house. Virgin Mary: (on the phone) Mom, Hey. It’s Virgin Mary. Can I eat at Jonny’s house?Mother: Sure honey, but be back before bedtime. Bedtime Rolls around and mary calls her mom. Virgin Mary: Mom, It’s Virgin Mary.Can I sleep over at Jonnys house?Mother: Sure honey, but be back before breakfast. Virgin Mary sleeps over, and breakfast rolls around. Mary calls her mother from Jonny’s house.Virgin Mary: Hi mom, It’s Mary. Can I eat breakfast at Jonny’s house????????
Q. Why are hurricanes normally named after…
Q. Why are hurricanes normally named after women?
A. When they come they’re wild and wet, but when they go they
take your house and car with them.
Smash forehead on keyboard to
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue …