Knock KnockWho’s there?Vlad!Vlad who?Vlad to meet you!
Author: admin
Why does Monica Lewinsky have chubby cheeks?…
Why does Monica Lewinsky have chubby cheeks?
She’s withholding evidence!
Ways to confuse a roommate
These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.132. Start dressing like an Indian. If your roommate inquires, claim that you are getting in touch with your Native-American roots. If your roommate accuses you of not having any Native- American roots, claim that he/she has offended your people and put a curse on your roommate.
A teenage girl
A teenage girl came home from school and asks her mother, “Is it true what
Rita just told me?”
“What’s that?” asks her mother.
“That babies come out of the same place where boys put their penises?” said
her daughter.
“Yes it is dear!” replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally
come up and that she wouldn’t have to explain it to her daughter.
“But then, when I have a baby,” responded the teenager�, won�t it knock my
teeth out?”
Never moon a werewolf.
Never moon a werewolf.
If you just try long
If you just try long enough and hard enough, you can always manage to boot yourself in the posterior.
Contrary to popular belief Tattoos
Contrary to popular belief Tattoos are not permanent.
They usually rot away a few days after you die.
Life is tough; even the
Life is tough; even the subways are in a hole.
One-legged girl…
What do you call a girl with only one arm and one leg? Eileen!
Personal Inaccuracy
Your aim is so bad that you threw a rock at the ground and missed.
Bloomingdales!
A woman from New York was getting her affairs in order. She prepared her
will and made her final arrangements. As part of these arrangements she
met with her Rabbi to talk about what type of funeral service she wanted,
etc.
She told her rabbi she had two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes
scattered over Bloomingdales.
“Bloomingdales!” the rabbi said. “Why Bloomingdales?”
“That way, I know my daughters will visit me twice a week.”
Microsoft support
A Microsoft support man goes to a firing range. He shoots 10 bullets at the target 50m away.
Then the supervisors check the target and see that there’s not even a single hit, and they shout to him that he missed completely.
So he tells them to recheck, and gets the same answer.
Then he put his finger at the top of the gun and shoots, blasting off his finger.
When he saw it he shouted back, “I don’t know, it’s working perfectly here, the problem must be yours…”
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo