one day a blonde wanted to buy a tv so she goes down to the local walmart and asks one of the employees if she could by a tv and points at the one she wants.
the employee says no we cant sell tvs to blondes.
she storms out angerly.
the next day she comes back and once again asks if she could by a tv and points to the one she wants.
once again the employee says no we cant sell tvs to blondes.
And once again the blonde storms out angerly
Finally on the third day the blonde dyes her hair red and walks into the walmart and asks if she can by a tv and points to the one that she wants.
the employee says no we cant sell tvs to blondes.
The blonde says how did u know that i was a blonde!
the employee says that only a blonde would miskate a tv for a microwave
Author: admin
Iraqui cruise
An Iraqui was walking on the beach when he was approached by a man. “Say Buddy,” said the man, “How”d you like to take a cruise for $100?”
“Sure!” exclaimed the Iraqui. When he gave the man his money, the guy pulled out a black jack and hit him over the head.
He pulled him down to the shore, put him in an inner tube and then shoved him off.
The next day, another Iraqui was walking on the beach, and was approached by the same man, in the same manner.
Sure enough, when the second Iraqui gave him his money, out came the black jack, and the second Iraqui was on his way out to sea.
Several days had passed, and the two Iraquis eventually ran into one another.
“Hey Buddy,” the second asked the first, “do they serve drinks on this cruise?”
“They probably won’t.” said the first, “They didn’t last year.”
Knock KnockWho’s there?Lodz!Lodz who?Lodz of
Knock KnockWho’s there?Lodz!Lodz who?Lodz of fun!
Caught by a local tribe
A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals. The chief comes to them and says, “The bad news is that now we’ve caught you and we’re going to kill you. We will put you in a pot, cook you, eat you and then we’re going to use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you can choose how to die.” The Frenchman says, “I take ze sword.” The chief gives him a sword, the Frenchman says, “Vive la France!” and runs himself through. The Englishman says, “a pistol for me please.” The chief gives him a pistol, the Englishman points it at his head and says, “God save the queen!” and blows his brains out. The New Yorker says, “Gimme a fork!” The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over–the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There is blood gushing out all over, it’s horrible. The chief is appalled and asks, “My God, what are you doing?” And the New Yorker responds, “So much for your canoe you stupid cannibal!
Help Wanted
As you are probably aware, if voting results in Florida stand as they are now, George W. Bush will be our next president. This will have a catastrophic results in our not so vital (dispensable entertainment industry).
Barbara Streisand, Martin Sheen, Susan Sarandon, Whoopie Goldberg, Alec Baldwin – among many others have sworn to leave the country if George Bush is elected president.
And this is where you can help. We need volunteers to help pack and load moving vans. We also need airfare for these irreplaceable national treasures so they can relocate before they change their minds.
For the cost of a small SUV, you can sponsor one of these celebrities and their unfortunate relocation. You will know that your efforts are helping when you receive postcards, letters, and pictures from your chosen “refugee”as they learn to become useful citizens in the Third World country of their choosing.
You will help, won’t you? It costs so little but it means so much.
Call 1-800-deport a lib. Operators are standing by. Major credit cards are accepted.
Donkey
a man and his friend called donkey (who had a stutter) went into a bar the man went to the bar and said to the barman, ill have a pint for me and a pint for donkey, the barman give him the 2 pints and after the man and his friend donkey drank them the man went to the toliet while the man was at the toliet his friend got the next drink he said to the barman, cccaannn i hh..ave 2 pints, the barman says, thats not fair the way he calls u donkey, donkey replies, heaw heaw he always calls me donkey.
Comedian
(U gotta do a chinese accent for the chinese man.)
This chinese man asks this guy what he does for a living. The
guy says, ‘I’m a comedian.’ The Chinese guy says ‘No, u no,
Camedien!’. The guy says, ‘Yer, I am, honest.’ The Chinese guy
says, ‘No, you’re not, pwroove it, change colwor!’
(He says it like camelian)
Little red wagon
One day there was a little boy who got his little red wagon
stuck in the mud. He was cursing and kicking it trying to get it
out, when a priest happened along and upon scolding him for
cursing said, “Little boy you should’nt go on like that, did you
know that god is everywhere.”
The little boy said, “Oh yeah? Is he in my shoe?”
The priest replied Yes.
“Is he in my little red wagon?”
“Yes,” said the priest.
“Then why the heck doesn’t he get out and help me push?!”
Wank my ass
it was birthday so I invited my boyfriend to bring me some videos so we could snuggle up and watch.to my surprise he boutgh pornography and he put one in about gayz and they had such huge cocks he said to be do you want to give me a blow job while we watch this and i responded no i wanna give the man in you the man in the movie since yo u are gay!!!! and he stormed out and we broke up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kissame
Aman and his wife were driving their car across the country and were
nearing a town in Florida spelled Kissame. They noted the strange spelling
and tried to figure out how to pronounce it. So they went to a fast food
place and orderd two hamburgers, and the wife asked, “What is the name of
this place? And say it very slowly so I can understand it?” The casheer
replied, “Buuuuuurrrrrrrrggggeeerrrrr Kiiiiinnnnnnggggggg.”
Q)Why did the football coach go to the bank?…
Q)Why did the football coach go to the bank?
A)Cuz he wanted his quarter back
By:Dean DeMartinis
Did you hear about the
Did you hear about the [ethnic] who couldn’t spell?
He spent the night at a warehouse.