Q: How many SAS programmers does it take to change a light bulb?A: This can not be computed. Changing light bulbs is a *hardware* problem…
Author: admin
George W. Bush and his veer running mate
George W. Bush and his veer running mate, Dick Cheney were talking, when
George W. said, “I hate all the dumb George W. jokes people tell about me.”
Wise Old Cheney, feeling sorry for his old boss kid, said sage-like, “Oh, they
are only jokes. There are a lot of stupid people out there. Here, I’ll prove it
to you.”
Now Cheney, to patronize George W, took him outside and hailed a taxi
driver.
“Please take me to 29 Nickel Street to see if I’m home,” said Cheney.
The cab driver without saying a word drove them to Nickel Street, and
when they finally got out, Cheney looked at George W. and said, “See!
That guy was really stupid.”
“No kidding,” replied George W. “There was a pay phone just around
the corner. You could have called instead.”
yo mamma so fat she plays hop-scotch like…
yo mamma so fat she plays hop-scotch like this: NewYork Virginia Georgia Mississippi Oaklahoma ect…..
What’s the difference between
What’s the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
A: Mechanical engineers build weapons, Civil engineers build targets
ABC’s
Little John and his classmates were learning the ABC’s and suddenly he had to
go to the restroom so he asked the teacher and the teacher said only in 1
condition if he said the ABC’s. So he said a b c d e f g h i j k m n o q r s t u
v w x y z and then the teacher asked were the “p” went and little John said
“down my pants”.
Italian Virgins
Two Italian virgins get married and go on their honeymoon. However, they have no idea what there supposed to do once they get to their hotel room. The newlyweds decide to call his mother and get some advice on what to do. The mother says that they should sit on the bed together and snuggle with each other and things should start to happen from there. The newlyweds start to do this but nothing else happens. He calls his mother back to find out what to do next. She says they should take their clothes off, get under the covers in bed, and nature should takes its course. The bride and groom take his mother’s advice but still nothing. He calls his mother a third time. Getting frustrated with the situation she says, “Listen, just take the biggest thing you have and stick it in her hairiest thing!” and hangs up on him. A few minutes later he reluctantly calls his mother back, “Well, I have my nose in her armpit. What do I do next?”
What am i?
i smile,u smile,
i laugh,u laugh,
i cry,u cry
what am i????
Hot Dogs
Two Chinese tourists were visiting USA. After some rambling, they got rather hungry.The first said, “I’d love to eat some dog.”The second “Me, too! And look at that sign! It says, ‘HOT DOGS’!”The other Chinese flicks through his English-Chinese dictionary and is confirmed that they serve dog there. They both walk into the shop and order hot dogs.After receiving their meals, the first Chinese looks between the bun and goes all white. He stares at his friend and asks, “Which part of the dog’s anatomy did YOU get?”
Marrying for Money
Jack couldn�t get his girlfriend to agree to marry him, until one day his grandfather died, leaving him $10 million. Oddly enough, the next week, his girlfriend, Diane agreed to marry him.After three months of married life, Jack noticed that his beautiful new wife was ignoring him more and more. On the rare occasion that she would go to bed with him she would be indifferent, or even worse, called out other men’s names!Whenever they went out in public, she ignored him and flirted with other men. Finally, he decided to confront her.”Diane,” he said, “the only reason you married me was because my grandfather left me $10 million when he died!””Don’t be ridiculous,” she replied, “I don’t care who gave you the money!”
Q: How many dogs
Q: How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?A: Two. One to change it, and one to sniff the first ones’ butt.
ABOUT WITHES
Q:WHY O WITCHES FLY ON BROOMS?
A:BECAUSE VACUUM CLEANERS ARE TO HEAVY!
BY DORAN, AGED 17, SHEFFIELD
Women seeking men
“WOMEN SEEKING MEN” Classifieds translationsTan means: WrinkledWants Soulmate means: One step away from stalkingWidow Nagged means: first husband to deathWriter means: Pompous