What’s the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
Maybe someday we’ll find Bigfoot
Author: admin
Those Little Rodents
Q; How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? A;Two,the same as anyone else, but I still can’t figure out how the little critters got in there.
Zit?
Q: What do you call a zit on a blonde’s butt?
A: A brain tumor.
Jesse James
Jessie James and his gang are attacking a train outside of Oklahoma City. As they go through each car, they line up the travelers and prepare to take all their loot.
As Jesse entered the first car he yelled, “Okay, everybody, we’re going to rape all the men and rob all the women!”
Upon hearing this, his brother Frank turned to him and said, “ah, Jessie, don’t you mean we’re going to rob all the men and rape all the women?”
With that said, a little fairy in the corner pops up and says…
“Listen, you heard Jessie…he’s the boss!”
How do you kill a blonde?
How do you kill a blonde?
Put a scratch and sniff on the bottom of a pool and tell her to go smell it.
Why
Q: why did the blonde jump out the window?
A: because she thought her pad had wings
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Q: in the room there was a mirror and a blonde
and the mirror had 3 bullets in it
why were there 3 bullet holes in the mirror
A: because the blonde was trying to shoot herself.
Yo mamma
Yer momma is so fat, ugly, and clumsy that on her way to Walmart, she tripped over K Mart and landed on Target!!!
Mental Health Hotline!
Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.
If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are Co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have Multiple Personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are Paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are Delusional, press 7, your call will be transfered to the Mothership.
If you are Schizophrenic, listen carefully, and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are Manic Depressive, it doesn’t matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway.
If you are Dyslexic, press 96969696969696.
If you have a Nervous Disorder, please fidget with the Pound Button until a representative comes on the line.
If you have Amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother’s and grandmother’s maiden names.
If you have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, slowly and carefully press 911.
If you have Bi-Polar Disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, please try you call again later.
If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are busy.
Ode to a Glow Worm
I wish I was a glow worm. A glow worm’s never glum. It’s hard to be downhearted, When the sun shines out your bum!
Mother-in-law
A big-game hunter went on safari with his new wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.
The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.
The wife cried, “What are we going to do?”
“Nothing,” said the hunter husband. “The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it.”
Lesser Leather
Lesser leather never weathered wetter weather better.
Your Momma/chef boyardee
Your Momma is so fat thats why the only boyfriend she ever had was chef boyardee.