Author: admin

Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good person and made arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his time. After three years, Andy was recognized as one of the best carpenters in the local area. Often he would be given a weekend pass to do odd jobs for the citizens of the community…. and he always reported back to prison before Sunday night was over.The warden was thinking of remodeling his kitchen and in fact had done much of the work himself. But he lacked the skills to build a set of kitchen cupboards and a large counter top which he had promised his wife. So he called Andy into his office and asked him to complete the job for him.But, alas, Andy refused. He told the warden, “Gosh, I’d really like to help you but counter fitting is what got me into prison in the first place”.

Llegaron dos chicas de la costa a la ciudad en busca de trabajo. A la hora de una entrevista, el jefe les pregunta:

“�Qu� hac�an ustedes en la costa?”

Una de ellas contesta:

“En la costa serv�amos papitas”.

Entonces, el jefe les dice:

“Bueno, est�n contratadas, pero ahora van a servir pa’putas”.

An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his banker and his lawyer, both church members, to come to his home.When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The preacher grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled, and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything.Both the banker and lawyer were touched and flattered that the preacher would ask them to be with him during his final moments. They were also puzzled; the preacher had never given them any indication that he particularly liked either of them. They both remembered his many long, uncomfortable sermons about greed, covetousness, and avaricious behaviour that made them squirm in their seats.Finally, the banker said, “Preacher, why did you ask us to come?”The old preacher mustered up his strength and then said weakly, “Jesus died between two thieves, and that’s how I want to go.”

In the back woods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart’s wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery.

To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said, “Here, you hold this high so I can see what I’m doing.”

Soon, a wee baby boy was brought into the world.

“Whoa there Scotty!” said the doctor. “Don’t be in a rush to put the lantern down… I think there’s yet another wee one to come.”

Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered another little baby.

“No, no, don’t be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern, young man… It seems there’s yet another one besides!” cried the doctor.

The new father scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, “Do ya think it’s the light that’s attractin’ them?”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Tantilazing