Author: admin

Neighbors baby

Posted on by admin

Little Johnny’s neighbors had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.

When mother and new baby came home from the hospital Johnny’s family was invited over to see the baby.

Before they left their house, Little Johnny’s dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.

His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby’s missing ears or even said the word ears he would get the spanking of his life when they came back home.

Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely.

When Johnny looked in the crib he said, “What a beautiful baby.”

The mother said, “Why, thank you, Little Johnny.”

Johnny said, “He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes.” “Can he see?” asked Little Johnny.

“Yes”, the mother replied, “we are so thankful, the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision.”

“That’s great”, said Little Johnny, “cuz he’d be in trouble if he needed glasses”

Dead Rabbit

Posted on by admin

This guy comes home from work one day to find his dog with the neighbor’s pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit is dead and the guy panics. He thinks the neighbor is going to hate him forever, so he takes the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house and gives it a bath, blow dries its fur and puts the rabbit back into the cage at the neighbor’s house, hoping they will think it died of natural causes.

A few days later, the neighbor is outside and asks the guy, “Did you hear that Fluffy died?”. The guy stumbles around and says, “Um.. er.. no.. what happened?”. The neighbor replies, “We just found him dead in his cage one day. But the weird thing is that the day after we buried him we went outside and someone had dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage. There must be some real sick people out there!”

My first silly noodle date

Posted on by admin

There was an girl name Jen.Jen is 16 years old.Jen goes to High school.Jen has 2 brothers and 1 sister.Jen has an boy Friend name Tod.One night when Jen went out on an Date with her Boy Friend Tod Jen and Tod sat by the annoying spot.Jen got annoyed Tod just liked that spot.Jen yelled at Tod and said Lets move to an diffrent spot!But Jen said Tod the waiter is about to come.Jen made an angry face and thought that Tod was an wierd Boy Friend and out of his Mind.Are you out of your Mind! yelled Jen

Bloody Bat

Posted on by admin

Blood, a young vampire bat came flapping in from the night, covered in fresh blood and perched himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Before long, all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He was tired and needing a rest, so he told them to please leave him alone. However, it was clear that he wasn’t going to get any sleep until he satisfied their curiosity.
“OK!” he said with exasperation, “follow me,” and he flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats following close behind him. Down through the valley they went, across the river and into the deep forest. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly gathered around him.

“Do you see that tree over there?” he asked.

“Yes, yes, yes!” the bats all screamed in a frenzy.

“Good,” said the first bat, “Because I DIDN’T!”

Knock Knock 145

Posted on by admin

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Passion!
Passion who?
Passion through and I thought I’d say hello!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Pasture!
Pasture who?
Pasture bedtime isn’t it!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Pat!
Pat who?
Pat yourself on the back!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Paul!
Paul who?
Paul up a chair and I’ll tell you!

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Paula!
Paula who?
Paula up the door handle will you and let me in!

So many teddy bears so little time

Posted on by admin

A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, and they end
up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he
notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears.

Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium
sized ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf
along the wall. The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially
because it�s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her.

She turns to him�they kiss�then they rip each other�s clothes off and romp
around the room all night. After an intense night of passion, as they are lying
there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, �Well,
how�d I do?�

The woman says, �You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.�

Letting Out Gas on the Bus

Posted on by admin

A fat lady rides the bus to work every day. Today she’s in some
discomfort because she has a pain in her lower abdomen. She
finally realizes that its just a tremendous build up of gas from
something she ate. The bus is quite crowded and she doesn’t know
what to do. Then she remembers that pretty soon the bus will run
across some railroad tracks and it will rattle and bang and make
lots of noise. She will be able to pass this gas and nobody will
know.

What she doesn’t know is that the bus driver has grown tired of
all the noise the bus makes when it rattles and bangs across the
railroad tracks. So last night he stayed after work and had the
maintenance crew tighten up all the loose bolts and lubricate
all the moving parts to quiet down the old bus.

Well, here come the railroad tracks, the fat lady raises up on
one cheek and lets it rip. It was one long, loud, juicy sounding
fart. The bus didn’t rattle and bang like it usually did and now
you could hear a pin drop inside the bus as everybody started
looking around.

The fat lady thought that maybe no one knew who did it and that
she should just act natural. She thought she should just start a
conversation with someone as if nothing had happened. She leaned
over to the man sitting across the aisle and casually asked him,
“Do you have a transfer?” He politely responded, “No I don’t,
but the next tree we pass I will try and grab you a handful of
leaves.”