Author: admin

Control Issues

Posted on by admin

Three men are at a bar, and two of the men are acting very macho and talking about the control they have over their wives. The third remains silent. After a while, the first two men turn to the third and ask, “What about you? What kind of control do you have over your wife?” The third man turns to the first two and says, “Well, I’ll tell you, just the other day I had her on her knees.” The first two men were dumbfounded. “Whoa! What happened next?”, they asked, inching closer to hear what the third man had to say. The third man took a healthy swig of his beer, sighed and said, “Yep. I had her on her knees. Until she started screaming, ‘Get out from under the bed and fight like a man!'”

On The Job Wisdom

Posted on by admin

1. If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company
someday.

2. The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to
budget cuts.

3. Sure, you may not like working here, but we pay your rent.

4. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings — they did it by
killing all those who opposed them.

5. A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat.

6. If at first you don’t succeed–try management.

7. Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

8. Never quit until you have another job.

9. Hang in there: Retirement is only 30 years away!

10. Go the extra mile–It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.

11. Pride, commitment, teamwork–words we use to get you to work for free.

12. Work: It isn’t just for sleeping anymore.

13. There are two kinds of people in life: people who like their jobs, and
people who don’t work here anymore.

Three dumb girls on a building

Posted on by admin

There are a blonde brunette and a redhead on the top of a building. They all are eating sandwiches. The brunette has a ham and cheese sandwich. The redhead has a turkey with mustard sandwich. And the blonde has a Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich. They all make a bet that if their mom’s pack them the same sandwiches then they will jump off they building. The next day they are at the top of the building. The brunette has a ham and cheese sandwich. So she jumped off the building. The redhead had a turkey and mustard sandwich so she also jumped off the building.The blonde had a PB&J sandwich so she also jumped off the building. At the funeral the red heads Mom goes “I shouldn’t have packed her a turkey and mustard sandwich.The brunets Mom goes, “I should have packed her something else!” The blondes Mom goes, ” I shouldn’t have let her pack her own lunch!”

Just Once

Posted on by admin

A woman went to her psychiatrist because she was having severe problems with her sex life. The psychiatrist asked her many questions but did not seem to be getting a clear picture of her problems. Finally he asked, “Do you ever watch your husband’s face while you are having sex?”

“Well, yes, once in the last five years.”

“Well, how did he look?”

“Very angry”

At this point the psychiatrist felt that he was really getting somewhere and he said, “Well, that’s very interesting, we must look into this further. Now tell me, you say that you have only seen your husband’s face once during sex in the past five years; that seems somewhat unusual; how did it occur that you saw his face that time?”

“He was looking through the window at me.”