There was these two old men sitting in one of the old mens house. They haven’t had sex in 20 years… The first old man then said,”I have an idea…Lets go to the whore house and have sex with a young lady!” The other old man agreed and they went to the whore house and went to the lady up front and asked her for one woman each to have sex with.. The lady behind the counter thought,”well my girls are to good for these old mean,so I’ll give them blow up dolls…They wont know the difference.” So she gave them each a blow up doll and the old men thought they were real living girls.. They went to a room did their business and came out and went home.. On the way home the 1st old man said,”You know..when i was doing my business i think that girl was dead,she didnt say anything,move or anything..Just laid there” he looekd at the other old man and said,”what do you think?” The other old man looked at him and said,”I think mine was a witch..” the first old man asked,”Why you say that?” and the 2nd old man responded,”Because when I bit her on the boob she farted and flew out the window.”
Author: admin
Q: How many Bill
Q: How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a light bulb?A: He doesn’t. He whines a while, says “I feel your pain”, and gets congress to pass a billion dollar light security bill, and blames republicans and special interests for not making lightbulbs free.
Adam & Eve
Heaven was getting a bit crowded, so Peter began giving quizzes
to see who should get in. A man ascended to heaven, and came to
the gates.
“Who was the first man?” asked Peter.
“Adam.”
“That’s correct. Enter.” Soon another man came along.
“Where did Adam and Eve live?”
“Eden.”
That’s correct. Enter.” Then Mother Theresa came along.
“Ooh, I’ll have to give you a hard one. What did Eve say when
she met Adam for the first time?”
“Mmm, that IS a hard one.”
“Enter.”
If the assumptions are wrong,
If the assumptions are wrong, the conclusions are not likely to be very good.
The Top 20 Hip Hop Holiday Songs
20> Deck the Hoz
19> Gift-Wrapper’s Delight
18> Grandma Got Run Over by an Escalade
17> Slay Ride
16> Frosty Da Blow Man
15> Here We Come A-Wizzassaillzzin’
14> We Three Pimps
13> Police Navidad
12> I Saw Daddy Capping Santa’s Ass
11> Blingle Bells
10> I’dlay Maria
9> All I Want for Christmas is My Two Gold Teeth
8> Angels We Have Heard While High
7> Jingle Bell Glock
6> We Wish You a Ludacrismas
5> O Lil’ Kim of Bethlehem
4> Hood King Wenceslas
3> Violent Night
2> Baby Got Socks
1> Whose Kid Is This, Bitch?!?
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]
2 Kiddies Playing Doctor
One day there was two children playing doctor. A girl and a boy. The boy liftes his shirt and points at his nipples and said “I’ve got two of these, how about you?”So the little girl opened her blouse and showed him her nipples. So the boy showed her his belly button. And the girl showed him hers. The little boy now getting upset, pulls dowm his drawers and points at his penis. The little girl pulled up her skirt and pushed her underwear to the side, but she searched and searched see couldn’t find it. The little boy taunted her for about 5 minutes, then the girl ran home. Soon enough she returned to the boy’s house and said ” My mommy told me when I’m 15 years old, I could have has much of those as I want!”
The question?
Mother: “Why are you home from school so early?”
Son: “I was the only one who could answer a question.”
Mother: “Oh, really? What was the question?
Son: ” ‘Who threw the eraser at the principal?’ ”
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Tantilazing
Your mama so stupid…
Your mama so stupid she saw YMCA and said, “Look honey somebody spelled
Macy’s wrong!”
Little Johnny helps Grandma.
One day, Grandma sent her grandson Johnny down to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Grandma’s kitchen.
“Where’s my bucket and where’s my water?” Grandma asked him.
“I can’t get any water from that water hole, Grandma,” exclaimed Johnny.
“There’s a big ol’ alligator down there!”
“Now don’t you mind that ol’ alligator, Johnny. He’s been there for a few years now, and he’s never hurt no one. Why, he’s probably as scared of you as you are of him!”
“Well, Grandma,” replied Johnny, “if he’s as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain’t fit to drink!”
Getting Served at a
The landlord of a pub, is just locking up, when there’s a ring on the doorbell. He opens the door, and there’s a snail sitting there.”What do you want?” asks the landlord.The snail replies that he wants a drink.”Go away, we’re closed, and we don’t serve snails anyway”.The snail pleads and pleads with the barman to give it a drink, at which the landlord gets fed up, picks the snail up, throws it as far as he can, and then slams the door shut. ….. Exactly one year later, he’s locking up again, and there’s a ring at the doorbell. The landlord opens the door, and looks down to see a snail sitting there.”What do you want” says the landlord.”What did you do that for” says the snail.
Your grandpas so bald
Your grandpas so bald when he weres a turtle neck he looks like a broken condom.
The Pope and The Queen
One day the Pope and the Queen of England were sitting in a
balcony dicussing their power over their people. The Queen tells
the Pope, “With one simple wave of my hand I can make my
followers go crazy.” “Prove it,” says the Pope. The Queen then
stood up, raises her hands in the air, and her beloved followers
yelled, whistled, and clapped until she had lowered her hand.
The Queen then sat back down and looked at the Pope to see what
he had to say.
The Pope sat for a moment deeply contemplating on how he could
top her stunt. He then said to the Queen, with great confidence,
“With a movement of MY hand I can not only make this crowd go
wild, but give them a story so great they will tell their
children, their children’s children, and so on.” “I highly doubt
that,” remarked the Queen. So the Pope stood up, moved over
towards the Queen and slapped her.