Author: admin

What do you get when you cross a Jehovah’s Witness with an atheist?

Someone who knocks on your door for no reason.

Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Yisman

Hi y’all…muh name id’s Bubba and dis is muh fameily:

Furst is me… Mom said I got all the good looks and no brains. I love being a
babe hound. Girls make spit roll down my chin. I have a stomach problem and fart
alot.

My Mom has lots of boyfriends. One of them has a job. She says with a
little luck I could be a garbage man one day.

My brother Hank is in jail right now. When he gets out he is not allowed to be
around animals and kitchen appliances.

My grandmom lives with us in our trailer. Shes smells real bad. She likes to
hang out in bars and drink beer. Grandma has sores all over and they leak yellow
stuff on the furniture. The flies are terrible.

My mom says she is almost positive this is who my Dad is. He lives in a
Federal Penitentiary in Montana. When he gets out in 55 years we are gonna go
fishing. The blood stains inside my Dads truck are almost all gone!

My younger sister Jill lost all her teeth. She was licking a egg beater after
mom made a cake and my cousin Jimmy turned it on by accident.

We are proud of my older brother Barney. He is only 27 and all ready in the
4th grade. He wants to be a Doctor and can write his own name!

Then there’s my half brother Jim Bob and his wife. She is a hottie. They raise
Possum in their back yard. They are not allowed to have children.

My older sister Sue Ellen has 15 kids and they all look different. We depend
on her welfare check to get by. She has a disease that makes her itch.

Jethro is my 1st cousin. He runs a tomato stand down by the highway. He once
went 53 days without taking a bath.

Buck is my second cousin. He is pretty smart. Buck is going to be a dentist
some day. He does all the work on our teeth.

My sisters boyfriend for now is Larry. He fixes lawn mowers in the city. My
sister says he has a hairy butt.

Michael used to be my best friend but got killed by a bus on the interstate. I
still wear his underwear.

Jake is my new friend. He holds the park record. He once jumped over 7
trailers. Jake crashed alot and talks real slow now. His doctor told him to wear
a helmit.

My uncle Marky is still having problems. He doesn’t know what he wants in life
anymore. He is a Veitnam War hero and now sells perfume at a department store.

My step brother Phil had a hunting accident years ago. The bullet is lodged
just over his right ear. It’s hard to understand him sometimes and he always
stinks like rotten cheese.

That’s the END OF MUH FAMEILY!

There were these three Eskimos in Alaska, and one time while they were at their local bar, they got to talking about how cold it was outside, and how cold their igloos were. They could agree on everything but whose igloo was the coldest, so they decided to determine who, indeed, had the coldest igloo.

They went to the first Eskimo’s igloo, where he said “Watch this!” and poured a cup of water into the air. Well, the water froze in mid-air and fell onto the floor. “Not bad” said the other Eskimos, but each maintained their igloo was colder still.

So they went to the second Eskimo’s igloo, and he said “Watch this!” and took a big breath and exhaled, whereupon his breath froze into a big lump and fell to the floor.

“Wow, that’s colder than mine!” said the first Eskimo. But the third Eskimo exclaimed his was colder still.

So they ended up at the third Eskimo’s igloo. He said “Watch this!” and went into the bedroom, threw back the thick furs, and retrieved one of several small balls of ice there. He took it, put it in a spoon, and held a match under it.

When it heated up enough, it went “FFFAAAARRRRTTT”. He won!