The young couple were holding hands in the Sunshine Gardens nudist camp. “When I tell you I love you,” he asked, “why do you always lower your eyes?””To see if it’s true,” she answered shyly.
Author: admin
The Preacher’s Ass
A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and, being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase one and enter it in the races. However, at the local auction, the going price for horses was so steep that the preacher ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races.
To his surprise, the donkey came in third. The next day the headlines read: “PREACHERS ASS SHOWS” The preacher was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the races again.
This time he won! The news read: “PREACHERS ASS OUT IN FRONT”
The bishop of the church saw the headline and was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher not to enter the donkey in another race.
The headlines read: “BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHERS ASS”
This was too much for the Bishop to take, so he ordered the preacher to get rid of the animal. The preacher decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The headlines read: “NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN”
The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to dispose of the donkey – so she found a farmer who was willing to buy the animal for $10.00.
The headlines read: “NUN PEDDLES ASS FOR TEN BUCKS”
They had to bury the Bishop the next day. The headlines read … “NUN’S ASS KILLS BISHOP”
Men are like…..mini skirts
Men are like…..Mini Skirts. If you’re not careful, they’ll creep up your
legs.
Goose Hunting
So this guy is in Rhode Island hunting for geese. He catches one and puts it
in his bag with the other geese. Just as he closes the bag, a Hunting Inspector
walks up.
A Kiss and A Slap
A young Technician and his General Manager board a train headed through the mountains on its way to Wichita. They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother.
After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young tech are interested in each because they are giving each other “looks.” Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black. There is a sound of the smack of a kiss followed by the sound of the smack of a slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word.
The grandmother is thinking to herself: “It was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I’m glad she slapped him.” The General manager is setting there thinking: “I didn’t know the young tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure wish she hadn’t missed him when she slapped and hit me!” The young woman was sitting and thinking: “I’m glad the guy kissed me, but I wish my grandmother had not slapped him!” The young tech sat there with a satisfied smile on his face. He thought to himself: “Life at Boeing is good. How often does a guy have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his General manager all at the same time!!!!!
Teacher’s Pet
On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher.
The florist’s son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said, “I bet I know what it is � it’s some flowers!”
“That’s right!”, shouted the little boy.
Then the candy store owner’s daughter handed the teacher a gift. She held it up, shook it and said, “I bet I know what it is � it’s a box of candy!”
“That’s right!” shouted the little girl.
The next gift was from the liquor store owner’s son. The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it.
“Is it wine?”, she asked.
“No”, the boy answered. The teacher touched another drop to her tongue.
“Is it champagne?”, she asked.
“No”, the boy answered.
“What is it?”
“A puppy!”
Ticket counters and airplanes
“I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and
airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport.” �George W. Bush, Washington,
D.C., Oct. 3, 2001
Weather Lesson
Why does the wind always go west to east in Wyoming?
Because Nebraska sucks and Idaho blows.
Blond joke
Q. What do you call a line of blondes standing ear
to ear.
A. A wind tunnel.
Winking Man
A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says, “This is phenomenal. You’ve graduated from the best schools; your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled. Normally, we’d hire you without a second thought. However, a sales representative has a highly visible position, and we’re afraid that your constant winking will scare off potential customers. I’m sorry….we can’t hire you.””But wait,” he said. “If I take two aspirin, I’ll stop winking!””Really? Great! Show me!”So the applicant reaches into his jacket pocket and begins pulling out all sorts of condoms: red condoms, blue condoms, ribbed condoms, flavored condoms; finally, at the bottom, he finds a packet of aspirin. He tears it open, swallows the pills, and stops winking.”Well,” said the interviewer, “that’s all well and good, but this is a respectable company, and we will not have our employees womanizing all over ,the country!””Womanizing? What do you mean? I’m a happily married man!””Well then, how do you explain all these condoms?””Oh, that,” he sighed. “Have you ever walked into a pharmacy, winking, and asked for aspirin?”
Things not to say on
Things not to say on your Valentine’s date…1. Nice outfit. Is that a wonder-bra? 2. I really don’t like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired. 3. No wine for me tonight. My urologist says it’s not good to mix alcohol and penicillin. 4. I refuse to get cable. That’s how they keep tabs on you. 5. People say I remind them of Eddie Haskell. 6. I used to come here all the time with my ex. 7. I never said you NEED a nose job. I just said it wouldn’t hurt to consider it. 8. I really feel that I’ve grown up in the past few years. Used to be I wouldn’t have given someone like you a second look. 9. And I won that trophy in the inter-fraternity belching contest. 10. I know you said you don’t eat anything with a face. But a good butcher will cut that part off for you if you ask. 11. It’s been tough, but I’ve come to accept that most people I date just won’t be as smart as I am.
Knock Knock 148
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Phoebe!
Phoebe who?
Phoebe too expensive for me!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Phyllis!
Phyllis who!
Phyllis in on the news!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Ping Pong!
Ping Pong who?
Ping Pong the witch is dead….!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Pizza!
Pizza who?
Pizza the pie!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Plato!
Plato who?
Plato fish and chips please!