What is the temperature off of Martha’s Vineyard?
3 Below!
Author: admin
MOTOR WAY
YOU MUST OF BEEN BORN ON THE MOTOR WAY BECUASE THATS WHERE MOST ACCIDENTS HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!!!
Getting Grey hairs
One day, Sally and her mother were washing dishes. Susie noticed that her mother was starting to get a few white hairs.”Mommy, Why do you have so many white hairs?” Sally asked?”Well, when you do something bad or hurt my feelings, I get another white hair.” her mom replied.”Oh!” Sally said.She thought for a few minutes, got a puzzled look on her face and then asked her mother, “Why is Grandma’s hair all white?”
Peter pumpkin eater
peter peter pumpkin eater had a wife
loved to beat her. Smacked her twice
across the head,fucked her ass and went
to bed.
A man goes into a bar
A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, ”What’ll it be buddy?”
The man says, ”Set me up with five whiskey shots, and make ’em doubles.” The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all five are gone almost as quickly as they were served. Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he’s doing all this drinking.
”You’d drink ’em this fast too if you had what I have.”, said the man.
The bartender hastily asks, ”What do you have pal?”
The man drunkenly replies, ”I have a dollar.”
If men had a vagina.
10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.
8. See if they could finally do splits.
7. See if it’s truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.
6. Cross their legs without rearranging.
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes BEFORE closing time.
4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.
3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.
2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts, too.
and, the NUMBER ONE thing men would do if they woke up with a vagina .
1. Finally find that damned G-spot.!!!!!
My Turn
James and his wife, Martha, are getting ready to leave home for a vacation.
Martha started out the door, then stopped, turned around, and said, “James, this time you should go check to see if the coffee pot is off, television plugs are pulled, lamp timers are set, thermostat is adjusted, windows are closed and locked, burglar alarm is on, doors are locked, and I’ll go wait in the car and keep blowing the horn.”
Quick Promotion
The boss called one of his employees into the office.”Rob,” he said, “you’ve been with the company for a year. You started off in the post room, one week later you were promoted to a sales position, and one month after that you were promoted to district manager of the sales department. Just four short months later, you were promoted to vice-chairman. Now it’s time for me to retire, and I want you to take over the company. What do you say to that?””Thanks,” said the employee.”Thanks?” the boss replied.”Is that all you can say?””Ok, ok,” the employee said.”Thanks, Dad.”
Golfer Goes to the Emergency Room
A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron
wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.
Q: How many Chinese
Q: How many Chinese Red Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: 10,000 – to give the bulb a cultural revolution.
How many babies?
Four expectant fathers were in a Minneapolis hospital waiting room while their
wives were in labor. The nurse arrived and proudly announced to the first man,
“Congratulations, sir. You’re the father of twins!”
“What a coincidence! I work for the Minnesota Twins Baseball team!”
Later the nurse returned and congratulated the second father on the birth of
his triplets.
“Wow! That’s incredible! I work for the 3M Corporation.”
An hour later, the nurse returned to congratulate the third man on the
birth of his quadruplets. Stunned, he barely could reply, “I don’t believe it!
I work for the Four Seasons Hotel!”
After this, everyone turned to the fourth guy who had just fainted. The nurse
rushed to his side. As he slowly gained consciousness, they could hear him
mutter over and over, “I should never have taken that job at 7-Eleven. I should
never have taken that job at 7-Eleven. I should never have taken that job….”
A Neverland Bedtime
Q:How do you know its bedtime in Neverland?
A:When the big hand touches the little hand.