Author: admin

Los reci�n casados se hospedan en un hotel de lujo de Canc�n. El esposo es un empresario, due�o de talleres de reparaci�n de llantas.

Llegando a la habitaci�n del hotel, �l se dirige al ba�o y llena la ba�era. Sale a la habitaci�n, desnuda a la esposa, la toma en brazos y se dirige con ella al ba�o, introduci�ndola en la ba�era, y al mismo tiempo le dice:

“�Si te salen burbujas de aire, te mato!”

Pepito va al consultorio porque pensaba que le gustaba comer camote o sea que era gay, entonces le dice al doctor:

“�Doctor, doctor, h�game un test o algo para saber si soy gay!”

El doctor le dice:

“Claro, a ver qu�tese la ropa y mientras le toco el test�culo diga 99…”

Y Pepito: “99.”

Y luego le agarra el pene y le dice:

“Diga 99.”

Y dice: “99.”

Despu�s le mete la mano por el culo y dice el doctor:

“Diga 99.”

Y Pepito comienza:

“1, 2, 3…”

1. You can name everyone you graduated with
2. You get a whiff of manure and think of home
3. You know what 4-H is
4. You ever went to “headlight parties”
5. You used to drag “main”
6. You said the ‘f’ word and your parents knew within the hour
7. You schedule parties around the schedule of different police officers, since you know which ones will bust you and which ones won’t
8. You ever went cow-tipping
9. You have ever partied with a guy who is 25, has no job, but is the ‘buyer’ for all of the best parties
10. You have parties at the same guy’s house
12. School gets cancelled for state sporting events
13. The town social events are their children’s
14. You could never buy cigarettes because all the store clerks knew how old you were (and, if you were old enough, they’d tell your parents, anyhow)
15. When you did find someone old enough and brave enough to buy smokes, you still had to go out to the country and drive on back roads to smoke them
16. Social acceptance in town depended on the approval of the five old (but rich) hags that met each morning at the donut shop for the latest smut
17. You were ever in the Homecoming parade
18. You have ever gone home for Homecoming
19. You fix up to go buy milk lest anyone starts the rumor that you have gained weight or quit taking care of youself
20. No place sells gas on Sunday
21. Friday nights fun consisted of standing in line for the one screen theater and since it was sold out, watching truckers and drinking coffee at the truck stop (the only place open after 10)
22. You have to drive an hour to buy a pair of socks
23. It was cool to date someone from the neighboring town
24. You have ever gone for a walk in the cemetery, on a date
25. You ordered your waredrobe out of a catalog
26. You had senior skip day
27. The whole school went to the same party after graduation
28. The only ‘clique’ that nobody would be nice to was the skurves across the street
30. You don’t give directions by street names or house numbers, but you give directions by references (turn by Armstrongs’ Liquor, go two blocks past Andersons’, and it’s four houses left of the track field)

A lady in her late 40’s goes to a plastic surgeon for a facelift.

The doctor tells her of a new procedure called ‘The Knob’.

A small knob is implanted on the back of a woman�s head and it can be turned to tighten the skin, producing the effect of a brand new facelift forever.

Naturally, the woman wants ‘The Knob’.

Fifteen years later, she goes back to the surgeon. “All these years, everything�s been fine. I�ve turned ‘The Knob’ on lots of occasions and I�ve loved the results. But now I�ve developed two problems.

First of all, I�ve got awful bags under my eyes, and ‘The Knob’ won�t get rid of them.”

The doctor looks at her and says, “Those aren�t bags, those are your breasts.”

“Oh,” she says. “Well, I guess that explains the goatee.”

Submitted by ���rt��
Edited by Tantilazing

A man tells his wife that he’s going out to buy cigarettes. When he gets to the store he finds out it’s closed.

So the guy ends up going to the bar to use the vending machine. While there, he has a few beers and begins talking to this beautiful girl.

He has a few more beer and the next thing he knows he’s in this girl’s apartment and having quite a pleasurable time. The next thing he know it was 3:00 AM.

“Oh my, god, my wife is going to kill me!” he exclaimed. “Quick give me some talcum powder!”

She gets him some and he rubs it all over his hands. When he got home his wife is up waiting for him and she’s furious. “Where the hell have you been!”

He says, “Well to tell you the truth, I went into a bar, had a few drinks, went home with this blonde and I slept with her.” “Let me see your hands!” she demands. He shows his wife his powdery hands.

“Damn liar, you were out bowling again!”

Al momento de salir la carroza funebre, Pepito rompe a llorar.

“Pap�, no me dejes, ll�vame contigo, pap�, buahhhhh…”

El p�blico aglomerado en la salida de la funeraria rompe a llorar sin
contemplaci�n. Y el ni�o continuaba su cuadro de dolor:

“Pap� no me dejes, no me dejes pap�, ll�vame contigooooo…”

De repente el chofer de la carroza, frena y sale del vehiculo y grita:

“�Mira muchacho del demonio, vete para la casa y d�jame trabajar!”

One day some guys were doing a survey between “boxers” or “briefs”.

They went to a 25 year old man and said “boxers” or “briefs”? He
said briefs.

They went to a 40 year old man and said “boxers” or “briefs”? He
said boxers.

Then they went up to a 80 year old man and said “boxers” or
“briefs”? And the old man replied – “depends?”