A BLOND AND HER FRIEND WALKED PAST THE YMCA AND THE BLOND SAYS THEY SPELLED MACYS WRONG
Author: admin
Swollen Balls
This guy comes into his doctor’s office and tells him he’s got a serious problem, that one of his balls is REALLY swollen. So the doctor asks him to show him, and the guy tells him he’s not gonna ’cause he knows the doctor’s gonna crack up. After about 1/2 an hour of arguing, he unzips his pants, and pulls out something so gigantic it almost breaks the table in half.Naturally the doctor can’t resist and cracks up.”You lied!” the guy replies, “now I’m NOT showing you the swollen one.”
Why don’t they water ski
Why don’t they water ski in [insert your favorite minority country]
They don’t have any lakes on a slant.
Question and answer Clinton joke
Q: Did you hear they put two new faces on Mt. Rushmore?A: Yeah, they were Bill Clinton.
Canoes
Three men were lost inthe jungle and were captured by natives they were about to be killed when they were all asked if they wanted one last thing before they were killed. the first man asked for a beer he got one drank it and was killed the native who killed him says he make good canoe cover. the next man said can i get a fag so he got one smoked it and was killed. the native says ah he also make good canoe cover . finally it was the last mans turn he asked for a fork he tokk it and stabbed himself all over his body filling himself with holes and says to the native youre not making fucking canoe covers out of me
Terrible Motorcycle
There’s the sad story of the poor guy who was in a terrible motorcycle accident. When he came out from under the anaesthetic, the doctor was leaning over him anxiously.”Son,” he said, “I’ve got some good news and some bad news.”The bad news is that your were in a very serious accident, and I’m afraid we had to amputate both your feet just above the ankle.””Jesus,” gasped the patient.”What’s the good news?””The fellow in the next bed over will give you a good price for your boots.”
Sex is nobody’s business except the three…
Sex is nobody’s business except the three people involved.
light bulb
How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one, because a blonde will screw anything.
Jokes
OCCASIONS
one girl met a boy(happens all the time)they were going out and dancing.The girl got angry because he was not dancing proply and pulled his hair off.To be continued.
God’s identity?
A young boy asks his Priest if God is a man or a woman.
The Priest decides to tease the boy and answers that God is both.
The boy then asks if God is black or white.
Again the answer is both.
Next question, is God gay or straight.
Once more the answer is both.
The boy then asks, “Father, is Michael Jackson God?”
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Curtis
Q: How many Thatcherites
Q: How many Thatcherites does it take to change a lightbulb?A: None. It’s up to the private sector to provide the finance for it.
Michael the Dragon
Michael the Dragon Master was an official in King Arthur’s court. He had a
long standing obsession – to nuzzle the beautiful Queen’s voluptuous breasts.
But he knew the penalty for this would be death. One day he revealed his secret
desire to his colleague, Horatio, who was the King’s chief physician.
Horatio said, “I can arrange it, but I will need 1,000 gold coins to pay
bribes”.
Michael the Dragon Master readily agreed.
The next day Horatio made up a batch of itching lotion. He then poured a
little of it into the Queens brassiere while she was taking a bath. Soon after
she dressed, the itching commenced and quickly grew in intensity.
When called to the royal chambers, Horatio told the King that only special
saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure his type of itch. He further
explained that test had shown such saliva was only to be found in Michael the
Dragon Master’s mouth.
King Arthur summoned Michael the Dragon Master and issued the Imperial
command. Michael the Dragon Master slipped the antidote to the itching lotion,
which Horatio had given him, into his mouth. For the next four hours he worked
passionately on the Queen’s magnificent breasts.
Satisfied, he returned to his chamber and found Horatio demanding payment.
However, with his obsession now satisfied, he refused to pay Horatio anything
and shooed him away, knowing that Horatio could never report this matter to the
King.
The next day, Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same itching lotion into
King Arthur’s loincloth. Michael the Dragon Master was again summoned by the
King…