Author: admin

Reasons it’s great to be a guy:

– Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

– Movie nudity is virtually always female.

– A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.

– You don’t have to monitor your friends’ sex lives.

– Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.

– You can open all your own jars.

– Old friends don’t give a crap whether you’ve lost or gained
weight.

– Dry cleaners and haircutters don’t rob you blind.

– When clicking through the channels, you don’t have to stall at
every shot of somebody crying.

– All your orgasms are real.

– You don’t have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere
you go.

– You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

– Your last name stays put.

– You can leave the hotel bed unmade.

– You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

– Nobody secretly wonders whether you swallow.

– Sex means never worrying about your reputation.

– Wedding plans take care of themselves.

– If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can
still be your friend.

– You don’t have to shave below your neck.

– None of your coworkers has the power to make you cry.

– You don’t have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night.

– If you’re 34 and single, nobody even notices.

– You can write your name in the snow.

– Everything on your face gets to stay its original color.

– Chocolate is just another snack.

– You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger’s seat.

– Flowers fix everything.

– You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

– Three pairs of shoes is more than enough.

– You can eat a banana in a hardware store.

– Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a
room.

– You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.

– You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.

– You can quietly watch a game with you buddy for hours without
ever thinking “He must be mad at me”.

– The world is your urinal.

– Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

– One mood, all the time

– You never have to drive on to another gas station because this
one’s just too skeevy.

– You can sit with you knees apart no matter what you’re wearing.

– Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.

– You don’t have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch
adjustment.

– Wedding dress: $2,000; tuxedo rental: $75.

– You don’t care if someone’s talking about you behind you back.

– With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth’s
population in 15 tries, at least in theory.

– You don’t mooch off others’ desserts.

– If you retain water, it’s in a canteen.

– The remote control is yours and yours alone.

– People never glance at your chest when you’re talking to them.

– You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a
littlegift.

– Bachelor parties whomp butt over bridal showers.

– You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.

– You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.

– You needn’t pretend you’re “Freshening up” to go to the
bathroom.

– If you don’t call your buddy when you say you will, he won’t
tell your other friends you’ve changed.

– Someday you’ll be a dirty old man.

– You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase “Screw
it.”

– If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you
just might become lifelong buddies.

– Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: “So…notice
anything different?”

Things that suck about being a guy:

– The Ferrari 550 Maranello lists for over $200,000.

– External genitalia are vulnerable to knees and fastballs.

– Even if you get your head caught in an industrial wood
chipper, you’re not allowed to cry.

– Ribbed for her pleasure – not yours.

– You have to wear ties.

– You can’t flirt your way out of a jam.

– “Women and children first.”