African Roulette

The ambassador of a small African nation chanced to visit Russia, and was
entertained by his opposite number, the Russian ambassador. For three days, the
African ambassador was wined, dined, and generally treated to the best
hospitality that Russia had to offer.
On the final day of his visit, the Russian ambassador said, “As your stay is
coming to an end, it is time for you to play our traditional game, Russian
roulette. One of the six chambers of this gun is loaded – you spin the cylinder,
point the gun at your head, and pull the trigger.”
This fazed the African slightly, but he was a proud man of a warrior people,
and to show fear would be unthinkable. Both men took their guns, spun, and
pulled the triggers. CLICK-CLICK Both chambers were empty, and both ambassadors
breathed a sigh of relief.
The African ambassador was much impressed with the courageous game, and
thought hard about the subject before the Russian Ambassador was due to visit
his country the next year.
When the visit came, the African ambassador treated the Russian with all
hospitality, until the final day of his stay. Leading him to a private room in
the palace, the African ambassador spoke, “Now it is time for you to sample our
game, African roulette”. So saying, he led the Russian into the room, the only
occupants of which were six beautiful, naked women.
The African ambassador said, “These women are the most beautiful members of
one of our tribes. Any one of them will give you a blowjob – take your pick.”
The Russian was not entirely averse to this idea, but he couldn’t see the
connection with Russian Roulette. He said, “Well, ok, great, but where’s the
roulette part? Where’s the danger?”
With a big grin on his face, the African ambassador answered: “One of them is
a cannibal.”

Cutting Class

“Jill,” a teacher reprimanded the teenager in the hall, “do you mind telling me whose class you’re cutting this time?”
“Like,” the young teen replied, “uh, see, okay, like it’s like, I really don’t like, think like, that’s really important, y’know, like because I’m, y’know, like I don’t get anything out of it.”

“It’s Mrs. Dulls’ English class, isn’t it?” replied the smiling teacher.

The Pirate’s Patch

An able-bodied seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns recounting their adventures at sea. Noting the pirate’s peg-leg, hook, and eye patch, the seaman asks “So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?”

The pirate replies “We was caught in a monster storm off the cape and a giant wave swept me overboard. Just as they were pullin’ me out, a school of sharks appeared and one of ’em bit me leg off.”

“Blimey!” said the seaman. “What about the hook”?

“Ahhhh…,” mused the pirate, “We were boardin’ a trader ship, pistols blastin’ and swords swingin’ this way and that. In the fracas me hand got chopped off.”

“Zounds!” remarked the seaman. “And how came ye by the eye patch”?

“A seagull droppin’ fell into me eye”, answered the pirate.

“You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?” the sailor asked incredulously.

“Well…” said the pirate, “…it was me first day with the hook.”

Swimming race

There is a red brown and a blonde they were racing from one end of the lake to another doing the breast stroke. one hour after they started ther red came in first,one hour later the brown came in past the finish line in second place,five hours later the blonde came last and the blonde replied”They cheated they used their arms!””

Duck

Conversation between a duck and a pharmacist:

Duck: I need some condoms.

Pharmacist: What size, small, medium or large?

Duck: Large will be okay.

Pharmacist: Shall I put it on your bill?

Duck: Hey, I’m not that kinda duck.

Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Curtis