Author: admin

Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truckat the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end.

At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they checked her gas meter. Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged his younger coworker to a footrace down the alley back to the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger one.

As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind them. They stopped and asked her what was wrong.

Gasping for breath, she replied, “When I see two gas men running as hard as you two were, I figured I’d better run too!”

A man went to the mall this last week to buy Valentines’ cards for his daughter and mother. The 50 feet of displays for hundreds of cards astounded him. He muttered out loud, “I wonder if they have anything for ex-wives.” The clerk behind the counter said, “Oh, yes sir, they most certainly do have an ‘ex’ category, but they’re in Sporting Goods.” “Really?” “Yes sir. They’re called Darts.”

A ventriloquist walks into a small Australian town and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog and figures he’ll have a little fun. Ventriloquist: ‘G’day mate. Good looking dog… mind if l speak to him?’Local: ‘The dog doesn’t talk, you stupid man.’ Ventriloquist: ‘Hey dog, how’s it going old mate?’ Dog: ‘Doin’ all right.’ Local: (Look of extreme shock) Ventriloquist (pointing at local): ‘Is this man your owner?’ Dog: ‘Yep.’ Ventriloquist: ‘How does he treat you?’ Dog: ‘Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and lakes me to the river once a week to play.’ Local: (Look of utter disbelief) Ventriloquist: ‘Mind if I talk to your horse?’ Local: ‘Uh, the horse doesn’t talk either… I think.’ Ventriloquist: ‘Hey horse, how’s it going?’ Horse: ‘Cool.’ Local: (Absolutely dumbfounded) Ventriloquist (pointing at local): ‘Is this your owner?’ Horse: ‘Yep.’ Ventriloquist: ‘How does he treat you?’ Horse: ‘Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements.’ Local: (Total look of amazement) Ventriloquist: �Mind if l talk to your sheep?’ Local: ‘The sheep’s a bloody liar!’

What did Mike Tyson say after he bit Holyfield’s ear?

“Got milk?”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by yisman