Author: admin

Two Americans decide to open a bungee-jumping business in Mexico.
They set up on the square of a small village. Bob jumps, bounces at the end of
the cord, and flies back up by the platform. Jeff isn’t able to catch his
friend, but he notices he has a few cuts and scratches.

Bob falls again, bounces, and comes back up. This time, he is bruised and
bleeding. Again, Jeff misses him. The third time it happens, Bob comes back
pretty messed up – he’s got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious.
Luckily, Jeff finally catches him and says, “Holy cow, what happened? Was the
cord too long?”

Bob looks confused and says, “No, the cord was fine… but what the heck is a
pi�ata?”

Entra un tipo a una cantina; se para en medio y grita:

“�Ah cu�nto cabr�n vino!”

En eso se paran dos sujetos enormes y malcarados pregunt�ndole:

“�Qu� fue lo que dijo, amigo?”

“No, nada, este… que �ah cu�nto cabr�n vino, cu�nta cabrona cerveza y cu�nta cabrona botana! �Uy, aqu� ya no se puede decir nada, porque de volada lo quieren madrear a uno!”

There was this Father from the town’s Catholic Church who would visit the
area’s nursing homes.

One day upon entering his last nursing home he was met by the head nurse.
She said “Mrs. Smith has been waiting for you all day, and she wanted to
make sure you didn’t forget her.”

The Father apologized for being so late and went on into Mrs. Smith’s
room. He sat next to her and started talking and said a little prayer for
her. Then Mrs. Smith started to talk about her day. While he was
listening, he noticed a small bowl of peanuts next to her.

The father Interupted, and asked if he could have a few of the
peanuts.

She of course said yes, and continued on and on, talking about
her day.

The Father interrupted her again and said “Mrs. Smith I’m sorry, I’ve
eaten almost all your peanuts.”

Mrs. Smith looked at him and said, “Don’t worry about it at all, I can’t
eat peanuts, I just like to eat the chocolate off of them.”

Husband, upon meeting ex- after two years of separation, “Listen honey, why don’t we have a few drinks, dinner, go to my apartment and really make love?”

“Over my dead body!”

“You haven’t changed a bit”

One day a Scottish guy and his girlfreind were walking when the Scottish guy says, “You want to hold my hand, don’t you?”

The girlfriend replies, “How can you possibly know that?”, and the guy goes, “The twinkle in your eye.”

So, they hold hands for a bit, but a little while later the guy goes, “You want to kiss me, don’t you?” and she goes, “How can you possibly know that?”, to which he replies, “The twinkle in your eye.” Sure enough, he is given a kiss by the lass.

Finally, the date is over, and the girl says you want to make love to me, don’t you?”

He says, “How can you possibly know that? Is it the twinkle in my eye?”

She says, “No, it’s the tilt in your kilt.”

There was a Engelish man an Irish man and a Scottish man they
all walked into a strip club and sat down at a tabble and the
the show started the stripper began to strip and then she walked
over to them and wiggeled her arse in the Engish mans face and
he looked in his wallet and had a 10 pound not and he licked it
and stuck it on her arse then the Irish man done the same licked
it and stuck it on after that it came to the Scottish man he
looked in is walet he never had any money so he tock out his
credit card and swipt it between the ase cheeks and took the 20.