McDonald’s Excuses for the Condom in a Big Mac

In case you missed the article, someone found a condom in a McDonald’s
hamburger recently. Here’s David Letterman’s explanation(s)….

The Top Ten List “McDonald’s Excuses for the Condom in a Big Mac”:

#10. We were test-marketing the new “McTrojan”..

#9. Condom, condiment-what’s the damn difference?

#8. It still tastes better than the “Arch Deluxe”..

#7. It was either there or in the vanilla shake..

#6. It Turns out the rumors about Grimace and Mayor McCheese are true..

#5. We’re experimenting with a new, even happier “Happy Meal”..

#4. So what-a regular Big Mac is 60% latex anyway..

#3. Employees too embarrassed to say, “Would you like condoms with that?”

#2. Drive-thru speaker broken-“Coke with lots of ice” sounded like
“prophylactic device”..

And the #1 McDonald’s Excuse for the Condom in a Big Mac:

#1. When you’re “servicing” billions and billions, you can’t be too careful

Semen

In a biology class, the Prof. was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen.

A young female (freshman) raised her hand and asked “If I understand, you’re saying there is a lot of glucose, as in sugar, in male semen?”

“That’s correct”, responded the Prof., going on to add statistical info.

Raising her hand again, the girl asked, “Then why doesn’t it taste sweet?”

After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing, the poor girl�s face turned bright red, and as she realized exactly what she had inadvertently said (or rather implied), she picked up her books without a word and walked out of class…and never returned.

However, as she was going out the door, the Profs. reply was classic… Totally straight-faced he answered her question, he stated “It doesn’t taste sweet, because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue”.

Cuatro tipos estaban jugando domin�

Cuatro tipos estaban jugando domin� en un bar. Al rato de estar jugando, uno de ellos se levant� para ir al ba�o.

Aprovechando el descanso, los otros 3 se pusieron a platicar, y uno de ellos dijo:

“No es por presumirles, pero a mi hijo le ha ido muy bien en el negocio de bienes raices. Ha ganado tanto dinero, que ya hasta le regal� una casa a uno de sus amigos…”

El siguiente agrega:

“Pues tampoco es por presumirles, pero mi hijo es distribuidor de autom�viles importados, y gana tanto dinero, que ya hasta le regal� un Ferrari a uno de sus amigos…”

Y el tercero la remata con:

“Pues mi hijo tiene una casa de bolsa, y como le estar� yendo de bien, que hasta le regalo a uno de sus amigos un paquete de acciones de las mejores…”

En eso regresa el que estaba en el ba�o. Los tres presumidos le preguntan como le ha ido a su hijo, y el les responde:

Pues la verdad, mal. Mi hijo desde chico era medio delicadito, y ahora de mayor, se mariconeo completamente: es un homosexual declarado y trabaja en un sal�n de belleza del centro de la ciudad. Pero ha de ser muy bueno para lo que hace, porque uno de sus novios le regal� una casa, otro un Ferrari y otro un paquete de acciones de las m�s buenas…”

An "F" in

One day when he was young, My Friend Herb returned from school and announced he got an ,F in arithmetic.”Why?” asked his father.”The teacher asked ‘How much is 2×3?’ and I said ‘6’” “But that’s right!” Herb’s father complained.”Then she asked me ‘How much is 3×2?'” “What’s the *&)*(&% difference?” asked Herb’s father.”That’s what I asked!” Herb said.

Competitive Politics

A couple of opposing candidates for county office happened to be sitting next to each other in the local diner. One turned to the other and said, “You know why I’m going to win this election? Because of my ‘personal touch.’ For example, I always tip waitresses really well and then ask them to vote for me.”
“Oh, really?” replied the other. “I always tip them a nickel and ask them to vote for you.”